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Band 6+: The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

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The image contains three pie charts for the years 1988, 1998, and 2008, showing percentages for four accommodation types. For 1988, the values are: Staying with family and friends 57%, Hotels 17%, Camping 18%, and Rented Apartments 8%. For 1998, the values are: Staying with family and friends 54%, Hotels 22%, Camping 13%, and Rented Apartments 11%. For 2008, the values are: Staying with family and friends 44%, Hotels 22%, Camping 12%, and Rented Apartments 22%.

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The charts illustrate the proportion of holidaymakers who used three different types of accommodation in 1988, 1998, and 2008,at ten-year intervals over three decades.

Overall,is it clear that staying with family and friends constitutes the largest proportion share on all three years,while a camping accounted for the smallest part.

When it comes to detail, the proportion of holidaymakers staying with family and friends declined steadily from 57% in 1988 to 44% in 2008. In contrast the share of choosing hotels increased from 17% to 22% between 1988 and 1998, after that which it remained stable at the same level in 2008.

As for as the percentage of camping expereinced a gradual fall, dropping from 18% in 1988 to 12% in two decades.Rented Apartments were the least common model of holidaymakers,despite a slight rise from 8% to 11% and to 22% respectively.

Word Count: 141

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Overall Band Score

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Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 3

three: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and makes relevant comparisons. There are some minor inaccuracies and omissions, but overall the response is well-organized and presents a clear overview of the data. To improve, ensure data accuracy and vary sentence structure for higher band score. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally understandable, but there are some issues with flow and logical connection between ideas. The 'Overall' paragraph is a good start, but the subsequent paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively to link sentences and paragraphs, ensuring a smoother progression of information.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. While words like 'proportion,' 'declined,' and 'increased' are appropriate, try to incorporate a wider range of synonyms and more specific vocabulary related to trends and comparisons. For instance, instead of 'the smallest part,' you could use 'the smallest proportion' or 'the least significant share.' Also, ensure that word choices are always accurate in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a basic understanding of grammar, but there are noticeable errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and article usage ('a,' 'an,' 'the'). Sentence structure could also be improved for better flow and complexity. For example, avoid run-on sentences and ensure each sentence has a clear and concise structure. Proofreading carefully for these errors will significantly enhance the grammatical accuracy of your writing.

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