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Band 6+: The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

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Image for topic: The proportion of holiday markers using 4 different types of accommodation in 3 different years

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The image contains three pie charts for the years 1988, 1998, and 2008, showing percentages for four accommodation types. For 1988, the values are: Staying with family and friends 57%, Hotels 17%, Camping 18%, and Rented Apartments 8%. For 1998, the values are: Staying with family and friends 54%, Hotels 22%, Camping 13%, and Rented Apartments 11%. For 2008, the values are: Staying with family and friends 44%, Hotels 22%, Camping 12%, and Rented Apartments 22%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrates the figures of travellers using for types of layouts within three decades, from 1988,1998 to 2008.

Overall, it can be seen that, staying with family and friends were more likely over the given period, while using rented aportments had grown by the time.

Looking at the details, staying with family and friends accounted for almost half of the charts, yet it remained the largest category, 52% in 1988 and 44% by the end of the given period. While the proportion of individuals staying in rented accommodation increased steadily, from 7% initially to 11% and the final year it had shown to 22%.

As for the other categories, camping which was the second largest trend after staying with family and friends, stood at 26% before falling 13% in 2008. Meanwhile, the number of using layout in hotels made up 15% in 1988, after which it rose to approximatelly 22% over the following 2 decades.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

staying: 4

using: 3

family: 3

friends: 3

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Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends and comparing the accommodation types across the three years. The overall structure is clear, with an introduction, an overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data (e.g., camping at 26% instead of 18%, hotels at 15% instead of 17%, and rented apartments at 7% instead of 8%). Additionally, some phrasing is awkward or unclear (e.g., 'using for types of layouts', 'rented aportments', 'the number of using layout in hotels'). To improve, ensure data accuracy and use more precise vocabulary and grammatical structures. The report could also benefit from a more explicit comparison between categories and a clearer summary of the overall changes.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction, an overview, and a detailed analysis. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'the number of using layout in hotels'). The paragraphing is acceptable, but the second paragraph mixes trends for different categories without clear signposting. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and cohesive devices to guide the reader through the data.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is somewhat limited and repetitive. There are inaccuracies in word choice (e.g., 'layouts' instead of 'accommodation types', 'aportments' instead of 'apartments', 'trend' instead of 'category'). The range of vocabulary is not wide, and some phrases are unnatural (e.g., 'the number of using layout in hotels'). To improve, use a wider range of precise vocabulary related to data description (e.g., 'proportion', 'percentage', 'accounted for', 'represented') and ensure correct spelling.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, 'The pie charts illustrates' should be 'The pie charts illustrate', 'using for types of layouts' is incorrect, and 'from 1988,1998 to 2008' lacks proper punctuation. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage. The range of grammatical structures is limited, with mostly simple sentences. To improve, practice using a variety of complex structures and proofread for basic errors.

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