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Band 5+: The table below compares data for the world's large-scale and small-scale sea fishing industries. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate.

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Image for topic: The table below compares data for the world's large-scale and small-scale sea fishing industries. Provide an overview of the information by identifying and describing the key details, and include comparisons where appropriate.

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The image presents a table titled 'The world's marine fishing industries' comparing large-scale industrial ships and small-scale local boats. For large-scale ships, the number of employees is around 500,000; annual food catch is 29 million tonnes; annual industrial processing catch is around 22 million tonnes; capital cost of each job is $30,000 - $300,000; and annual fuel oil consumption is 14-19 million tonnes. For small-scale boats, the number of employees is around 12,000,000; annual food catch is 24 million tonnes; annual industrial processing catch is almost none; capital cost of each job is $250 - $2500; and annual fuel oil consumption is 1.5-1.8 million tonnes.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table illustrates the figure for fishing industries in large-scale and small-scale across the world.

Overall, the industrial ships in large-scale show dominating almost all data of fishing industries.Additionally, the number of workers in local boats record the higher number than that in industrial vessels.

Firstly,While the quality of people work in small -scale of fishing industries comprised around 12,000,000 employees,that in small-scale was roughly 500.000 and that less than 24 times compared to industrial ships.Moreover,the food catched during every year in industrial vessels contributed 29 million tonnes ,more than 5 million tonnes in that of local boats.Whereas ,the annual industrial processing in large -scale ships stood at around 22 million tones,small-scale boats’s figure was almost none.

In term of the capital cost of each job,the money was paid for each work in industrial ships was higher than that in local boats,had respectively 30,000-300,000 and 250-2500.Furthermore,the figure for annual fuel oil consumption in large-scale ships was from 14 to 19 million tonnes,more than roughly ten times compared to small-scale boats that comsumed between 1,5 and 1.8 million tonnes.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

industrial: 6

million: 5

ships: 4

figure: 3

fishing: 3

large-scale: 3

small-scale: 3

local: 3

tonnes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview of the data and making comparisons between large-scale and small-scale fishing industries. There are some minor inaccuracies and awkward phrasing, but overall the response is clear and informative. To improve, focus on using more precise language and ensuring accurate data representation. Also, pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure for smoother reading.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report presents the information in a generally understandable manner, but the flow could be improved. The organization into paragraphs is present, but the transitions between ideas are not always smooth. Consider using more varied cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, using transition words like 'however,' 'similarly,' or 'in contrast' can help to clarify the relationships between different pieces of data. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a clear, distinct aspect of the comparison.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of precision and variety. Some phrases are a bit awkward or could be expressed more concisely. For instance, instead of 'the quality of people work,' consider 'the number of employees.' Try to incorporate a wider range of vocabulary related to data comparison and industry analysis to enhance the sophistication of your language. Also, pay attention to the correct usage of singular and plural forms.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency, subject-verb agreement, and article usage. Sentence structure is also somewhat basic, limiting the complexity of the ideas that can be expressed. To improve, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay close attention to the correct use of prepositions and the accurate formation of comparative sentences. Proofreading carefully for errors before submitting your work is essential.

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