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Band 4+: The table below shows the percentage of deaths recorded annually in different countries in 23 years.

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Image for topic: The table below shows the percentage of deaths recorded annually in different countries in 23 years.

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The image displays a table with two columns representing the years 2000 and 2023 that detail percentages of deaths recorded annually in five regions: Afghanistan 1.26% (2000), 0.58% (2023); Hong Kong 0.54% (2000), 0.77% (2023); Saint Helena 0.86% (2000), 1.68% (2023); Sierra Leone 2.00% (2000), 0.83% (2023); Vietnam 0.55% (2000), 0.66% (2023).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table provides the information that the percentage of death recorded of different countries in 23 years.

All in all , it can be seen that in 2000 Sierra Leone had the highest rate of death record and that time the lowest rate of death record came from Hong Kong. ON the other hand in 2023 Saint Helena had the highest rate of death record and the lowest rate came from Afghanistan.

To commence ,we can see that in 2000 in Hong Kong the deah record was too cheap in that time and there for Vietnam had the second lowest position of death record. We can also see that time Saint Helene got the third lowest position and also Afganistan got the second highest position in death record. The first death record position came from Sierra Leone.

On the other hand we can see in 2023 saint helena got the highest position in death record and then the second highest position came from Sierra Leone. We can also see that the third highest position got Hong Kong and the second lowest death record came from Vietnam. We also can see the much lowest position of death record came from Afghanistan.

Word Count: 200

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

death: 10

record: 10

position: 8

highest: 6

lowest: 6

second: 4

sierra: 3

saint: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report generally addresses the task but contains inaccuracies and lacks clear organization. The writing style is repetitive and uses informal language ('too cheap'). To improve, focus on accurately representing the data, organizing the information into clear paragraphs, and using more formal and precise language. Consider using comparative language to highlight the changes between the two years.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks clear organization and logical flow. The ideas are not presented in a coherent manner, making it difficult to follow the information. Paragraphing is present but does not effectively separate distinct ideas or trends. Improve the overall structure by grouping similar data points and using transition words to connect ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of varied language to describe the data. The word 'cheap' is inappropriate in the context of death records. Expand your vocabulary by using synonyms and more precise terms to describe the data and trends. For example, instead of 'highest rate,' consider using 'peak,' 'largest proportion,' or 'most significant percentage.' Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors significantly impact the clarity and accuracy of the report. Focus on improving basic grammar skills and sentence structure. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors before submitting your work.

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