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Band 7+: the table below shows the percentage of household and electronic goods in New Zealand in 2002 and 2020. summerize the information and make comparisons

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The image contains a table listing electronic goods in New Zealand households with percentages for 2002 and 2020: washing machine 97% in 2002, 98% in 2020; color TV 95% in 2002, 99% in 2020; computer 50% in 2002, 78% in 2020; cell phone 20% in 2002, 80% in 2020; video recorder 75% in 2002, 60% in 2020; dishwasher 45% in 2002, 55% in 2020; digital camera 2% in 2002, 45% in 2020. Task 2 prompts an opinion on whether crime rates will decline due to technological advancements aiding prevention and solutions.

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The tables depict the proportion of household and electronic products between 2002 and 2020 in New Zealand.

Overall, it is clear that the ownership rate of electronic products increased, except for the video recorder which witnessed a significant decline throughout the year. Additionally, washing machines were initially the most prevalent item before being surpassed by color TVs by 2020.

In 2002, the proportion of households with the washing machine accounted for 97% , which was the highest rate. 95% of households owned color tv, being the second-highest. This was significantly higher than the ownership rate of video recorders, at 75%. This was followed by that of computers and dish washers, standing at 50% and 45%, respectively. By contrast, the proportions of households with cellphones and digital cameras were comparatively low, with the figure for digital cameras being the highest, at 20% and 2%, respectively.

In 2020, the washing machine was up to 1% while the color tv peaked at 99% and was the highest proportion. Moreover, the figure of 78% and 80% was recorded by computer and cell phone . Besides, video recorder and dishwasher , standing at 60% and 55%. Finally, a dramatical rise was recorded by digital camera with the figure of 40% and it was the lowest compared to others.

Word Count: 213

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

proportion: 3

video: 3

washing: 3

being: 3

color: 3

households: 3

highest: 3

digital: 3

figure: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively summarizes the main trends and makes relevant comparisons. It correctly identifies the overall increase in ownership except for video recorders, and notes the shift in the most prevalent item. However, there are a few minor inaccuracies and omissions: the digital camera figure for 2020 is stated as 40% instead of 45%, and the phrase 'the figure for digital cameras being the highest' is incorrect (it should be 'lowest'). Additionally, some sentences are awkwardly phrased and contain minor grammatical errors. To improve, ensure all data points are accurately reported and refine sentence structures for clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall statement and logical paragraphing. However, some sentences are awkwardly phrased and could be smoother. For example, 'the figure for digital cameras being the highest' is confusing because it should be 'lowest'. Also, the final paragraph lists data without clear comparisons, and the transition between items could be improved. Use more cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate and includes some good terms like 'depict', 'prevalent', 'surpassed', and 'dramatical rise' (though 'dramatical' should be 'dramatic'). However, there are some inaccuracies and repetitions. For instance, 'the figure for digital cameras being the highest' is incorrect; it should be 'lowest'. Also, 'dish washers' should be 'dishwashers'. Try to use a wider range of synonyms and more precise language to describe trends and comparisons.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and punctuation issues. For example, 'the washing machine was up to 1%' should be 'increased by 1%' or 'rose to 98%'. Also, 'the figure of 78% and 80% was recorded by computer and cell phone' is awkward; it should be 'computers and cell phones'. There are missing articles and incorrect plural forms. Additionally, 'dramatical' should be 'dramatic'. Proofreading for these errors would improve accuracy.

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