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Band 6+: The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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Image for topic: The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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The image presents a table displaying employment percentage data for men and women in various sectors across 1990, 2000, and 2010. In the "Retails/Shops" sector, men held 13% in 1990, 13% in 2000, and 13% in 2010; women held 7% in 1990, 8% in 2000, and 9% in 2010. In "Health," men maintained 7% in 1990, 7% in 2000, and 9% in 2010; women accounted for 9% in 1990, 11% in 2000, and 15% in 2010. In "Manufacturing Industry," men had 30% in 1990, 15% in 2000, and 10% in 2010; women had 7% in 1990, 8% in 2000, and 3% in 2010. In "Tourism," men were 13% in 1990, 10% in 2000, and 10% in 2010; women were 23% in 1990, 25% in 2000, and 27% in 2010.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The table illustrates the proportion of male and female workers in different fields in one nation in 1986, 1996 and 2006.

Overall, manufacturing industry which was the most popular area chosen by working men experienced an upward trend, whereas the percentage of male employees opting for retails remained stable. In contrast, most of working women went for tourism overtime, while the minority was recorded in manufacturing industry.

Regarding men group, it is noticeable that the proportion for male workers in retails stayed unchanged at 13% throughout the period. In contrast, a sharp decrease was recorded in manufacturing industry, from 30% in 1990 to 15% in 2000 and 10% in 2010. A similar trend was recorded in tourism, which fell from 13% to 10% in two final years. Meanwhile, the percentage of working men in health remained stable at 7% in the first two decades, then rose slightly to 9% in 2010.

In terms of women group, the proportion of working women in health increased modestly from 9% in 1990 to 11% in 2000 and 15% in 2010.The figure for retails and tourism was recorded a same tendency. The former grew by 6% from 9% in 1990 to 15% in 2010, while the latter increased by 4% from 23% in 1990 to 27% in 2010. However, a slight decrease was observed only in manufacturing industry, which started at 7% and then dropped to 3% at the end.

Word Count: 236

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

manufacturing: 4

working: 4

recorded: 4

proportion: 3

industry: 3

which: 3

retails: 3

women: 3

tourism: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task and provides a clear overview of the main trends. You have successfully identified the key sectors and compared the trends between men and women. However, there is a significant inaccuracy in the overview: you stated that the manufacturing industry for men experienced an 'upward trend,' whereas the data actually shows a sharp decline. Additionally, there are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'Regarding men group' should be 'Regarding the male group' and 'was recorded a same tendency' is ungrammatical). To improve, ensure that your overview accurately reflects the direction of the trends and focus on refining your sentence structures for better flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs divided by gender. However, there are some issues with cohesive devices and logical flow. For instance, the overview contains a factual contradiction (stating manufacturing had an 'upward trend' when the data shows a decrease), which disrupts the logical progression. Additionally, some transitions between sentences are a bit abrupt. To improve, ensure that your overview accurately reflects the trends described in the body and use a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

You have used a range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'remained stable', 'sharp decrease', 'increased modestly'). However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'most of working women went for tourism overtime' (which is unclear) and 'the figure for retails and tourism was recorded a same tendency'. Using more precise collocations, such as 'the proportion of women in the retail sector' instead of 'the figure for retails', would significantly enhance the quality of your writing. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder clarity. Examples include missing articles ('in manufacturing industry' should be 'in the manufacturing industry'), incorrect preposition usage, and awkward phrasing ('Regarding men group'). Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of definite articles when referring to specific sectors or groups. Aim for greater precision in your sentence construction to ensure a more professional tone.

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Band 6+: The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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Coherence & Cohesion

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The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The table below shows the percentage of working men and women in different areas of employment in one country in 1986, 1996 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

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