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Band 4+: The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a table titled "Percentage participation of women in senior management positions" for three companies across seven different years. Eldan Ltd percentages are 3% (1975), 3% (1980), 14% (1985), 28% (1990), 33% (2000), 64% (2015). Bamforth Ltd percentages are 9% (1975), 11% (1980), 13% (1985), 15% (1990), 17% (2000), 46% (2015). Finsbury Ltd percentages are 16% (1975), 14% (1980), 15% (1985), 22% (1990), 20% (2000), 26% (2015).

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The table illustrates the percentage participation of women in male dominated management positions in three companies for 40 years

Overall, Eldan Ltd company were the largest indicators between other two, while If we take another measure, the lowest indicator also is Eldan Ltd.

In 2015, was the most significant increased of workplaces by women. 1985th years showed little differences between three companies. Originally, if compare contemporary life with the past, we can see that before implemented law enforcement, women were household management. The average indicators, but some changed was from 1990 to 2000 years. Nowadays, women can work with male counterparts, moreover they really successfully and get education from special institutions.

From 1975 to 2015 we have significant increasing in percentage participation of women in male position. Furthermore, in urban life, we have more desigmatizers that woman should stay at home and did household management.

Word Count: 145

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

women: 5

management: 3

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Task Response

The report attempts to address the task but includes irrelevant and inaccurate information. The writing lacks clear structure and contains grammatical errors, affecting coherence. To improve, focus on accurately summarizing the data, organizing the information logically, and using precise language. Avoid including personal opinions or generalizations not supported by the table. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear structure and logical flow. The ideas are not well-organized, and the connections between sentences and paragraphs are weak. The introduction is present, but the overview of the main trends is not clear. The body paragraphs lack focus and contain irrelevant information. Consider organizing the report into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a specific aspect of the data. Use cohesive devices to link ideas and ensure a smooth transition between sentences and paragraphs. A clearer overview of the main trends would significantly improve coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is limited and sometimes inaccurate. There are instances of inappropriate word choice and imprecise language. The report does not demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary or sophisticated control of lexical features. Focus on expanding your vocabulary related to describing trends, comparisons, and changes over time. Use a thesaurus to find synonyms and avoid repetition. Pay attention to the correct usage of words and phrases in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and errors in sentence structure. These errors significantly affect the clarity and accuracy of the report. The range of grammatical structures used is limited. Focus on improving your understanding of basic grammar rules and sentence construction. Practice using a variety of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and sophistication of your writing. Proofread carefully to identify and correct errors.

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