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Band 6+: The table shows the percentage of boys and girls aged 5 - 14 taking part in cultural activities and sports in Australia in 2003

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The image shows a table with data on the percentage of boys and girls aged 5-14 in Australia participating in cultural activities and sports in 2003. For boys' participation: Drama was 4%, Dancing was 2%, Singing was 4%, Poetry was 5%, Playing musical instruments was 15%, and Sports was 70%. For girls' participation: Drama was 5%, Dancing was 25%, Singing was 5%, Poetry was 5%, Playing musical instruments was 10%, and Sports was 50%.

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The table illustrates the proportin of kids between 5 and 14 years, participating in 6 different cultural activities and sports in Australia in 2003.

If we look at boys and girls , sports was the most common activity.

According to the table, 70% of boys was into sports. Another 15% of boys preferred to play musical instruments. Proportion for boys who were doing poetry were 5%, while the figures for singing and drama were lower than that , each at 4%. Turning to dancing, it was the least popular activity among boys, with only 2% participation.

When it comes to girls , half of them toked part in sports , that is two times higher than those who were dancing. When it comes to playing musical instruments, the figure for girls was at 10%.. The proportions of those who took part in drama, singing and poetry were identical, at 5% each.

Word Count: 151

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 4

girls: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main points of the data and provides relevant comparisons. To improve, consider including an overview statement at the beginning to summarise the main trends. Also, ensure that all data points are covered, even if briefly, to provide a more complete picture. Finally, vary your language and sentence structure to enhance readability.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized and easy to follow. However, there are a few areas where the flow could be improved. For example, in the third paragraph, the transition to discussing girls' participation could be smoother. Consider using transition words or phrases to connect ideas between paragraphs more effectively. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, clear topic to enhance coherence.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a satisfactory range of vocabulary, but there's room for improvement. While words like 'proportion,' 'preferred,' and 'identical' are used appropriately, incorporating more varied and precise language could elevate the writing. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'the figure for,' try alternatives like 'the percentage of' or 'the proportion engaging in.' Also, consider using synonyms to avoid repetition and showcase a broader lexical range. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'proportin' should be 'proportion,' 'was into sports' should be 'participated in sports,' 'were doing poetry' should be 'participated in poetry,' 'toked part' should be 'took part,' and 'that is two times higher than those who were dancing' is awkward and could be rephrased for better clarity. Correcting these errors and ensuring subject-verb agreement will significantly improve the grammatical accuracy of the report.

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