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Band 6+: The tables below give information on sales of two types of smartphones in six countries in 2012 and 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: The tables below give information on sales of two types of smartphones in six countries in 2012 and 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image provides two tables on sales of smartphones for 2012 and 2022 in six countries, with values in millions of Canadian Dollars. For the iPhone, 2012 sales were: Germany 4.6, Japan 8.9, New Zealand 1.4, Canada 6.8, Ireland 0.8, and Thailand 7.4. In 2022, iPhone sales were: Germany 12.4, Japan 21.9, New Zealand 18, Canada 41.7, Ireland 3.4, and Thailand 29.5. For the Galaxy, 2012 sales were: Germany 3.1, Japan 10.8, New Zealand 0.8, Canada 4.3, Ireland 0.6, and Thailand 8.9. In 2022, Galaxy sales were: Germany 18.4, Japan 32.7, New Zealand 14.2, Canada 29.7, Ireland 4.1, and Thailand 24.6.

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The two tables compare the sales of iPhone and Galaxy smartphone in six countries between 2012 and 2022.

Overall, it is clear that sales for both smartphone brands increased significantly in every country over ten-year period between 2012 and 2022, Canada was the largest market for iPhone, While Japan was the highest sales for Galaxy.

Regarding iPhone sales, Canada showed the most dramatically growth, this rising from 6.8 million CAD to a peak of 41.7 million CAD in 2022. Thailand and Japan also high figures in 2022, reaching 29.5 million CAD and 21.9 million CAD.

Looking at Galaxy sales, Japan was the leading country, this climbing from 10.8 million to 32.7 million CAD over the decade. Sales in Canada and Thailand also rose sharply, 29.7 million and 24.6 million CAD by 2022.

Word Count: 132

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

million: 8

sales: 6

iphone: 3

canada: 3

japan: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends in the data, noting the overall increase in sales for both brands and highlighting specific countries with significant growth. However, there is room for improvement in terms of providing more specific comparisons and details. To improve, consider including more comparative language to highlight the differences in growth rates between countries and brands. Also, ensure that all key data points are mentioned, even if briefly, to provide a more comprehensive overview. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally well-organized with a clear overall structure, including an introduction, overview, and specific details for each smartphone brand. However, there are instances where the flow could be improved. For example, the transition between the overview and the detailed analysis of iPhone sales could be smoother. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, clear topic to enhance readability.

Lexical Resource

The report demonstrates a good range of vocabulary suitable for describing trends and comparisons. Terms like 'dramatically growth,' 'peak,' and 'leading country' are used appropriately. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied synonyms and idiomatic expressions related to sales and market trends. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'rose sharply,' you could use 'soared,' 'surged,' or 'witnessed a substantial increase.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used. However, there are some grammatical errors that need attention. For example, 'Canada showed the most dramatically growth' should be 'Canada showed the most dramatic growth.' Also, 'While Japan was the highest sales for Galaxy' should be 'while Japan had the highest sales for Galaxy'. Proofreading carefully for subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and accurate preposition usage can further improve the grammatical accuracy.

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Band 6+: The tables below give information on sales of two types of smartphones in six countries in 2012 and 2022. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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The table below gives information about values of the exports of kiwi fruit from New Zealand to five countries between 2010 and 2012. (Unit: NZ$)

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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