Bar Chart

Band 6+: the time spend per week by teenagers on certain activities

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The image displays a bar chart showing the hours per week teenagers in Chester spent on activities from 2002 to 2007. Going to pubs/discos (hours per week): year 2002 (8), year 2003 (10), year 2004 (12), year 2005 (12), year 2006 (12), year 2007 (18). Watching television: year 2002 (25), year 2003 (25), year 2004 (30), year 2005 (35), year 2006 (37), year 2007 (38). Shopping: year 2002 (7), year 2003 (11), year 2004 (12), year 2005 (15), year 2006 (15), year 2007 (11). Doing homework: year 2002 (13), year 2003 (15), year 2004 (12.5), year 2005 (10), year 2006 (9), year 2007 (8). Doing sport: year 2002 (10), year 2003 (10), year 2004 (9), year 2005 (8), year 2006 (4), year 2007 (1). Watching DVDs: year 2002 (11), year 2003 (15), year 2004 (18), year 2005 (17), year 2006 (12), year 2007 (10). Bowling: year 2002 (4), year 2003 (2), year 2004 (3), year 2005 (2), year 2006 (2), year 2007 (1).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar graph illustrates data on the hours that teenager spend per week doing particular activities in Chester between 2002 and 2007.

Overall, there are total of 7 activities that teenagers do. The most popular activity over the given period was watching TV whereas least favorite was playing bowling. While going to pubs, shopping, watching television all showed an increase over time. The other pursuits showed a decrease except watching DVDs.

The activities that increased on the hours spend are going to pubs, watching television and shopping. The most time spent per week was watching television. From 2002 to 2003 it remained with a total of 25 hours of time spending per week. After that it started to increase constantly between 2005-2007 before hitting over 35 hours a week in 2007. Additionally, going to pubs started around 5 hours per week before it rose to 10 hours in 2003. It remained steady around 10 hours before increasing to over 15 hours per week in 2007. Finally shopping rose to 10 hours in 2003 and remained there for two years, then it hit 15 hours a week and stayed consisted until 2007.

Other pursuits like doing homework, doing sports and bowling dropped while watching DVDs fluctuated over time. Doing homework had the most of the time spending in 2002 before it lowered around 5 hours in 2007. Likewise doing sports has reduced from 10 hours to less than 5 hours until 2007. Also watching DVDs fluctuated in the given time period starting from 10 hours and hitting 10 hours again in 2007. Bowling was under 5 hours throughout the entire period.

Word Count: 270

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

hours: 16

watching: 7

doing: 5

before: 4

activities: 3

period: 3

bowling: 3

going: 3

shopping: 3

television: 3

remained: 3

around: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main trends and features of the bar chart, providing a general overview of teenagers' weekly activities in Chester between 2002 and 2007. The overall trends are identified, and some specific data points are mentioned to support the observations. However, there are some areas for improvement: 1. **Accuracy and Detail:** While the report mentions key activities and their general trends, some of the data provided is not entirely accurate. For example, the report mentions that going to pubs started around 5 hours per week, but the graph indicates it started at 8 hours. Similarly, the description of shopping trends contains inaccuracies. Paying closer attention to the precise data and ensuring accuracy would enhance the report. 2. **Clarity and Organization:** The report could benefit from a clearer structure. For instance, grouping activities with similar trends together (e.g., those that increased, decreased, or fluctuated) in separate paragraphs would improve readability. Additionally, using more precise language and avoiding vague terms like 'around' or 'over' would make the report more impactful. 3. **Vocabulary and Grammar:** While the language is generally clear, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'total of 7 activities that teenagers do' could be rephrased for better flow. Proofreading for grammatical errors and using a wider range of vocabulary would enhance the overall quality of the report.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is generally organized with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, the flow could be improved with better transitions between sentences and ideas. For example, the connections between the overall trends and the specific details in the body paragraphs could be clearer. Consider using transition words and phrases to guide the reader through the information more smoothly. Paragraphing is adequate, but could be more effective with clearer topic sentences.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary relevant to the task, but there are instances where the word choice could be more precise or varied. For example, using synonyms for 'increase' and 'decrease' would enhance the lexical resource. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, expanding the range and using more sophisticated language would improve the score. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are noticeable grammatical errors that affect clarity. Common errors include incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. While the overall meaning is usually clear, addressing these grammatical errors would significantly improve the accuracy and impact of the writing. Pay close attention to proofreading and editing to catch and correct these mistakes.

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