Pie Chart

Band 5+: The two pie charts below show how an average household in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Image for topic: The two pie charts below show how an average household in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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The image displays two pie charts titled 'Household Energy Use in Australia (1995 vs 2015)'. The 1995 chart shows the following distribution: Heating at 40%, Water Heating at 30%, Refrigeration at 10%, Other Appliances at 10%, and Lighting at 10%. The 2015 chart shows: Heating at 30%, Water Heating at 25%, Other Appliances at 20%, Refrigeration at 15%, and Lighting at 10%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The two diagrams below demonstrate how a standard household in Australia consumed energy for various aims over the period from 1995 and 2015.

Overall, in all two years Australian households consumed a tiny amount of lighting energy. The household consistently recorded the highest figures in 1995, while the household in 2015 remained the lowest. In addition, diagrams show that the figures significantly decreased in 2015 comparing 1995.

In 1995, around 40% of households had consumed heating and at the same year approximately 30% of people had consumed water heating. There was only a minimal increase in consumption of refrigeration. Likewise, the amount of energy generated by other appliances steadily leveled out by approximately 10%. Energy produced by heating comprised 30% in 2015, it decreased by hydraulic heating around 25% at the same period. The use of refrigeration significantly rose by 15%, while other applications had reached about 20%.

Word Count: 148

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

consumed: 4

energy: 4

heating: 4

household: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task, but there are some issues with organization and clarity. The overview is present but could be more concise and focused on the main trends. The body paragraphs present data from both years, but the comparisons could be more explicit. To improve, focus on structuring the report with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that comparisons between the two years are clearly stated. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates some attempt to organize the information, but the flow is disrupted by unclear connections between sentences and paragraphs. The 'overall' paragraph is confusing and doesn't effectively summarize the key trends. Transitions between discussing 1995 and 2015 data need improvement to enhance clarity. Consider using more explicit linking words and phrases to guide the reader through the comparison.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a mix of basic and slightly more advanced vocabulary. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice ('tiny amount,' 'hydraulic heating') that affect clarity. To improve, focus on using more accurate and specific vocabulary related to energy consumption and data comparison. Explore synonyms for words like 'consumed,' 'amount,' and 'increase' to add variety.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. These errors impact the overall clarity and readability of the report. Focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and sentence structures. Pay close attention to using correct prepositions and articles. Proofreading carefully for errors is essential.

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Band 5+: The two pie charts below show how an average household in Australia used energy for different purposes in 1995 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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