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Band 7+: Three pie charts show the proportions of Korean video games in terms of gender, age, and best-selling games in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: Three pie charts show the proportions of Korean video games in terms of gender, age, and best-selling games in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image comprises three pie charts detailing Korean video game demographics in 2003: age of players, gender of players, and best-selling game genres. Age distribution shows 35% under 18, 42% between 18-35, and 23% over 35. Gender breakdown indicates 72% male and 28% female players. Game genre sales feature 42% action, 17% racing, 12% role-playing, 11% sports, 12% education, with others comprising 6%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The pie charts illustrate the rates of electronic games players in South Korea in 2003, including information about their age, gender and their favourite games.

Overall, the distribution of gamers age seemed similar while there was a huge difference between two sexes. Meanwhile, actions games made up for the majority of the titles inclined.

Regarding gamers’ profiles, it was reported that most of them were between 18 and 36 or above 36 years old, with a total of 77% splitting almost equally between the two age groups, while the remaining 23% stemmed from players under 18 years old. Moreover, nearly three-quarters of gamers were men, a big proportion compared to female players.

In terms of their fancy games, almost half of the total gamers were fond of action games, while sports and racing games displayed 20% and 17% penetration rates, respectively. Both education and role-playing games had gaming rates levelled at 7%, while other types of games attracted only 6% of South Korean electronic gamers.

Word Count: 165

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

games: 7

gamers: 4

while: 4

rates: 3

their: 3

between: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main requirements of the task and provides a clear overview of the data. The comparison between genders and the identification of the most popular genre are well-handled. However, there are some inaccuracies in data reporting (e.g., the age group breakdown and the percentages for education/role-playing games) and some awkward phrasing in the overview. To improve, ensure that numerical data is reported precisely as presented in the visual and refine the grammatical structures used to describe trends and proportions.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices such as 'Overall', 'Regarding', 'Moreover', and 'In terms of' helps guide the reader through the information. However, some transitions could be smoother. For instance, the overview paragraph contains a slightly awkward sentence structure ('...titles inclined') which disrupts the flow. To improve, ensure that the connection between sentences is more natural and that the overview provides a more cohesive summary of the main trends.

Lexical Resource

The candidate uses a variety of vocabulary to describe the data, such as 'distribution', 'stemmed from', 'penetration rates', and 'fond of'. There is an attempt to use more sophisticated phrasing. However, there are some instances of imprecise word choices or awkward collocations, such as 'electronic games players' (instead of 'video game players'), 'fancy games' (which is too informal for an academic report), and 'titles inclined'. Aim for more formal academic synonyms and ensure that word combinations are natural in a professional context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and comparative forms. Most sentences are clear and convey the intended meaning. However, there are minor errors in phrasing and word order that prevent a higher score. For example, 'gamers age' should be 'gamers' age' or 'the age of gamers', and 'between two sexes' would be better expressed as 'between the two genders'. Refining the use of possessives and articles will help increase the overall accuracy.

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Band 7+: Three pie charts show the proportions of Korean video games in terms of gender, age, and best-selling games in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Three pie charts show the proportions of Korean video games in terms of gender, age, and best-selling games in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Three pie charts show the proportions of Korean video games in terms of gender, age, and best-selling games in 2003. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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