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Band 4+: Total renewable enrgy in five different sectors in Australia in 2013

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The image displays a table titled 'Total renewable energy in five sectors in Australia in 2013', which lists the percentage of renewable energy for each sector. The values are: Electricity 12.9%, Residential 5.9%, Commercial 6.5%, Industrial 1.9%, and Transport 0.6%. The total renewable energy across these sectors is 27.8%.

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The table chart illustrates the renewable enrgy of electricity, residential, commercial, industrial and transport in Australia from 2013.

Looking from an overall perspective, it is evident that the electricity was most popular renewable energy, while least popular was transport throughout the given time period.

According to the provided data, the electricity was femous renewable energy at 12.9%, however, then it was rapidly decline residential to 5.9%, commercial was more than residential at 6.5%. Additionally, the least was transport less than 1% such as 0.6%.

To begin with, next renewable energy was indrustrial. Whereas, indrustrial renewable energy was more than transport at 1.9%. Finally, five different sectors total enewable energy was 27.8% end of the time period.

Word Count: 116

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

renewable: 5

energy: 5

transport: 4

electricity: 3

residential: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the requirements of the task, providing an overview and highlighting key data points. However, there are some areas for improvement. The organization could be more structured, and the language used could be more precise and varied. For instance, avoid repetitive phrases like 'renewable energy was'. Also, ensure accurate spelling and grammar throughout the report. To improve, focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to describe the data more effectively. The report falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report's organization is somewhat unclear, and the flow of information is disrupted by grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is present but could be used more effectively to group related ideas. Use cohesive devices more effectively to link ideas within and between sentences.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. There is limited use of synonyms or more precise language to describe the data. Expand your vocabulary related to data description and comparison to enhance the report's clarity and sophistication.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains numerous grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and misuse of articles. Sentence structure is often awkward and unclear. Focus on improving your understanding and application of basic grammar rules to enhance the accuracy and clarity of your writing.

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