Letter

Band 7+: Write a letter to apologize to people for behavior that caused inconvenience.

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to express my experience at the Flip camp in Garut from November 25th to January 25th.

Firstly, I was shocked to find that a lot of things at that villa were covered in dust, such as the couch, carpet, and table. Although there was a person there who had been paid to clean all of the stuff, it irritated my skin and my nose so much since I have an allergy to dusty or unclean things. Even though I tried so hard to hide my allergy because I did not want people to look at me differently, unfortunately all of the stuff became worse each day, so I could not hide it.

As a result, I felt sorry to everyone who was disturbed by my allergy. In addition, I want to apologize also to anyone who felt offended by my jokes, because sometimes I realize that my jokes were too much. In the end, I just want to say thank you to all of you who can accept me as myself; you are all the best.

I hope we can meet again at our best, hopefully in Australia, or even better, soon.

Sincerely,

Richigga

Word Count: 201

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

allergy: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter attempts to address the task by apologizing for behavior that caused inconvenience, but it includes irrelevant information about the condition of the villa. The apology is somewhat buried within the description of the writer's experience. To improve, focus more directly on the apology and provide specific examples of the behavior that caused inconvenience.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The purpose of the letter is clear from the beginning, and the progression of ideas is logical. However, the connection between the initial complaint about the dusty villa and the apology feels somewhat disjointed. Consider making the link between the inconvenience caused by your allergy and the environment clearer. For example, you could explicitly state that the dust exacerbated your allergies, leading to behaviors that inconvenienced others. Additionally, the closing paragraph feels a bit abrupt. You could soften the transition by expressing a more direct wish for reconciliation or continued positive relationships despite the issues.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and effectively conveys the writer's feelings and experiences. There's a good range of vocabulary, and the tone is generally suitable for an apology letter. To further enhance the lexical resource, consider using more nuanced language to describe the impact of the allergy and the nature of the jokes. For example, instead of 'my jokes were too much,' you could say 'my jokes may have been insensitive at times.' This adds a layer of sophistication to the language.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a strong command of grammar and sentence structure. There are virtually no grammatical errors, and the sentences flow smoothly. The punctuation is accurate and enhances the clarity of the letter. Overall, the grammatical range and accuracy are excellent.

Band 7+: Write a letter to apologize to people for behavior that caused inconvenience.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Lexical Resource

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