Bar Chart

Band 5+: Write at least 150 words. The chart below shows the employment rates of the 25 to 34-year and 55 to 64-year-old population according to the highest level of education attained in two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: Write at least 150 words. The chart below shows the employment rates of the 25 to 34-year and 55 to 64-year-old population according to the highest level of education attained in two separate years. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart showing employment rates in percent for two age groups by education level in years 2005 and 2015. For the 25-34 year-old group, the 2005 and 2015 rates were respectively: Below upper secondary, 62% and 57%; Upper secondary, 78% and 73%; Post secondary non-tertiary, 86% and 88%; Tertiary, 85% and 84%. For the 55-64 year-old group, the 2005 and 2015 rates were respectively: Below upper secondary, 41% and 49%; Upper secondary, 56% and 58%; Post secondary non-tertiary, 60% and 63%; Tertiary, 62% and 66%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram below shows the proportion of people in different ages who suceeded particular 4 education levels in 2005 and 2015 years.

Overall, in 2005 the highest proportion of adults (25-34) and older generation (55-64) attained post secondary and tertiary levels, while in 2015 less number of population attained such high degrees. Furthermore, youger generation education levels were gradually higher compared to the elderly people.

In 2005, young people with below upper secondary degree accounted for over 60 %, meanwhile older people’s rate was under 40%. Similarly, upper secondary degree varied between ages, younger ones attained 80%, older – 55%. The highest proportion of younger individuals(almost 80%) suceeded getting post secondary levels.In contrast, older individuals proportion was 2 times lower than younger ones. Tertiary degree was almost equal to non-tertial degree proportions between both generations.

In 2015, proportions of younger generation between these categories slightly declined, except for post secondary and tertiary categories. At the same time, elderly people rates gradually exceeded in proportions among all categories, compared to 2005 year. Below upper secondary and upper secondary degrees accounted for 55% and 70 % among youngsters and 50% and 60% among elderly population. Non tertiary and tertiary levels were suceeded by 80% and 90% of people in age 25-34 and by 60% , 65% of people in age 55-64.

Word Count: 219

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

secondary: 7

people: 5

tertiary: 5

proportion: 4

levels: 4

older: 4

upper: 4

degree: 4

younger: 4

below: 3

suceeded: 3

generation: 3

attained: 3

elderly: 3

between: 3

proportions: 3

categories: 3

among: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the requirements of the task, presenting the main trends and making relevant comparisons. However, there are some inaccuracies in the data reported and some minor omissions. To improve, ensure data accuracy by double-checking figures from the chart and aim for a more precise representation of the information. Also, pay attention to the accurate use of vocabulary related to proportions and trends.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report demonstrates an attempt to organize the information, but the flow is somewhat disjointed. The overview is present but could be more concise and focused on the key trends. The body paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, making it difficult to follow the main points. Transitions between sentences and ideas are weak, leading to a lack of cohesion. Consider using more effective linking words and phrases to improve the overall coherence of the report. For example, use phrases like 'In contrast,' 'Similarly,' 'However,' and 'Furthermore' more strategically to connect ideas and create a smoother flow.

Lexical Resource

The report uses a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing. For example, 'suceeded particular 4 education levels' and 'less number of population attained such high degrees' could be rephrased for clarity and accuracy. To improve lexical resource, focus on using more precise and natural-sounding vocabulary related to employment rates and education levels. Consider using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition and demonstrate a wider range of vocabulary. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors affect the clarity and accuracy of the report. For example, 'people who suceeded particular 4 education levels' should be 'people who attained particular education levels,' and 'youger generation education levels were gradually higher compared to the elderly people' could be rephrased for better grammatical accuracy. To improve grammatical range and accuracy, focus on reviewing basic grammar rules and practicing sentence construction. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and prepositions.

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