Bar Chart

Band 6+: Writing task 1 The chart illustrates data about the contribution

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The image illustrates sector contributions to India's GDP: in 1960, agriculture constitutes 62%, industry 19%, services 19%; 1970 sees agriculture at 48%, industry at 25%, services at 27%; 1980 reflects agriculture at 37%, industry at 23%, services at 40%; by 1990, agriculture is 32%, industry remains 27%, services reach 41%; finally, in 2000, agriculture drops to 26%, industry at 25%, services peak at 49%.

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The bar chart compares the share of India’s GDP in three fields: agriculture, industry and services from 1960 to 2000.

Overall, initially the agriculture was the main source of contribution, however it lost its dominance while services overtook dominance. Industry showed almost less of more change over time.

As for agriculture, there was slight decline from almost 65% to approximately 55% between 1960 and 1970, but this was followed by a further decrease to slightly more than 45% in 1980. Before a significant decrease from roughly 45% to just over than 35% from 1980 to 1990, the percentage of agriculture dipped to just under 15% in the final year.

Of one note is that industry started from just under 15%, a figure that then rose to 20%, after which the proportion of industry increased to around 25% between 1970 and 1980. The percentage of industry remained stable by the end of the period. Starting at almost 15%, the percentage of services rose significantly to slightly less than 25% in 1970. After a slight increase to just under 30% in 1980, the share of services soared to almost 45%, but this followed by a staggering rise to slightly more than 60% by the end of the period.

Word Count: 206

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

industry: 5

agriculture: 4

services: 4

almost: 4

slightly: 3

percentage: 3

under: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by describing the main trends in the three sectors over time, and it makes some comparisons. However, there are notable inaccuracies in the data (e.g., agriculture figures, services figures, and industry starting point) and some unclear phrasing (e.g., 'less of more change', 'Of one note is that'). The overall structure is logical, but the report would benefit from more precise data reporting and clearer language. Focus on accurately representing the given data and using a more formal, concise style.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a clear overall structure with an introduction and separate paragraphs for each sector. However, the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'Of one note is that' and 'this followed by'). The progression of ideas within paragraphs could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical. To improve, use clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main trend with logical sequencing.

Lexical Resource

There is a reasonable range of vocabulary related to trends (e.g., 'decline', 'increase', 'soared', 'staggering rise'), but some choices are imprecise or informal (e.g., 'almost less of more change', 'dipped to just under 15%' which is inaccurate). The report would benefit from more precise and varied language to describe changes, such as 'experienced a gradual decline', 'witnessed a significant surge', and 'remained relatively stable'. Avoid vague expressions and ensure that all numerical references are accurate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity (e.g., 'there was slight decline' should be 'there was a slight decline', 'this followed by' should be 'this was followed by', and 'just over than 35%' should be 'just over 35%'). Punctuation is mostly correct, but some sentences are run-ons or lack proper connectors. To improve, proofread for subject-verb agreement, article usage, and preposition accuracy. Vary sentence structures more naturally and ensure each sentence is grammatically complete.

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