Letter

Band 5+: Write letter to apply for a position to look after a house in Scotland where the owener are going away

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing this letter to apply for the post as a housekeeper for a house in the Scotland. because of my background and knowledge I am the best person for this position.

To begin with , my name is Mary Abed and I graduated with master’s degree in information technology. I participated in different courses about gardening and plumbing last year. I have been working as a nurse in a huge palace in Dubai but I made a decision to immigrate to England since my boy friend live in the Scotland.

I am a professional housekeeper as I have a lot of data about gardening I can nurture various vegetables and take care to flowers in their house that it create a fantastic atmosphere. Furthermore, I can use divers gadgets for their home to increase the security since I build some cameras at the laboratory of my university to record everything at the night and day with high quality. as a result , they can see their house whenever they want.

please inform me about my duties and if they have any pets and animals. Due to the fact that I have sensitive skin.

I would appreciate it, if you could accept me for this post because I really need this job . I attached my document along with this letter. please feel free to ask any questions. you can reach me at 0012354215.

Word Count: 243

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

house: 3

about: 3

their: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task, presenting relevant information about the applicant's suitability for the housekeeper position. However, there are some areas where the response could be improved. For instance, the letter could benefit from a clearer structure and more specific details about the applicant's experience and skills. Additionally, the tone could be more professional and less focused on personal needs. To improve, focus on providing concrete examples of your skills and experience, and ensure the letter maintains a formal and professional tone throughout.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider grouping related ideas together more clearly. For example, the paragraph discussing your skills could be more focused. Transition words could also be used more effectively to link ideas within and between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are some instances of imprecise word choice ('divers gadgets'). Expanding your range of vocabulary and using more specific terms would enhance the letter. For example, instead of 'divers gadgets,' you could list specific security devices.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains a number of grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are issues with verb tense consistency ('live' should be 'lives'), subject-verb agreement, and article usage ('a house in the Scotland'). Sentence structure could also be varied to improve flow. Reviewing basic grammar rules and proofreading carefully would help improve accuracy.

Band 5+: Write letter to apply for a position to look after a house in Scotland where the owener are going away

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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