Letter

Band 7+: Write letter to manger of shop to inform his about one of products has problems

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Dear Sir/ Madam,

I hope you are doing well. My name is Mary Abed, and I traveled to Dubai last week and purchased some clothes from the Fendi Store which was located on Paris street. I am writing this letter to express dissatisfaction from one garment.

To begin with, I bought some dresses and scarves from your store on 20th of May. I am a regular customer and I mostly buy my clothes at Fendi because not only they are affordable for me but also all products are high quality. I bought formal and casual clothes on that trip.

Unfortunately, I didn’t check all the clothes in the package since I had an important meeting at Alex hotel; as a result, I did not have time to examine their size and color. When I came back to my country I checked them and I was so sad as the size of the trousers was wrong. I told your employee size M and purple but she gave me XL size and red.

I made a decision to come to Dubai next week because my friend will get married. I am going to buy a special skirt from your store and exchange my XL size. Please tell your worker to pay attention to the details of products since some people are unable to come again to your store and change the products.

As a loyal customer, I would appreciate it if you could solve my problem. I attached my receipt and some photos along with this letter.

Yours Faithfully,

Mary Abed

Word Count: 259

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

clothes: 4

store: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by explaining the problem with the purchased trousers and the desired resolution. The purpose of the letter is clear, and the main points are generally well-organized. To improve, focus on being more concise and direct in your language. While the letter includes relevant details, some parts could be streamlined to avoid unnecessary repetition. For example, the explanation of why you didn't check the clothes immediately could be more succinct. Also, ensure that the tone remains consistently professional and avoid overly emotional language when describing your disappointment.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and easy to follow. The purpose of the letter is clear from the beginning, and the information is presented in a logical order. However, there are a few areas where the coherence could be improved. For example, in the third paragraph, the transition from the meeting at the Alex hotel to not having time to examine the clothes could be smoother. Consider adding a sentence to explicitly connect these ideas. Also, the flow between paragraphs could be enhanced with better transitions.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task and demonstrates a good range. Terms like 'dissatisfaction,' 'garment,' 'affordable,' and 'loyal customer' are well-chosen. However, there's room to elevate the language further by incorporating more sophisticated vocabulary related to retail and customer service. For instance, instead of 'solve my problem,' you could use 'rectify this issue' or 'resolve this matter.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used. However, there are some grammatical errors that need attention. For example, 'express dissatisfaction from one garment' should be 'express dissatisfaction with one garment.' Also, 'I told your employee size M and purple but she gave me XL size and red' could be rephrased for clarity and grammatical correctness, such as 'I requested size M and purple trousers, but I was given XL size and red ones.' Pay close attention to prepositions and sentence structure to enhance accuracy.

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Band 7+: Write letter to manger of shop to inform his about one of products has problems

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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