Process Diagram

Band 6+: Writing Process: Olive oil Đề bài: The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

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Image for topic: Writing Process: Olive oil Đề bài: The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

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The image depicts the production process of olive oil: starts with 1. Picking; proceeds to 2. Rinsing with cold water; then 3. Smashing using a belt; results in olive paste and olive stones; continues with olive paste placed in 4. Bag with holes; goes through 5. Pressing; leads to 6. Separating oil from water; concludes at 7. Storage and sale.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The graphic delineates the production of olive tree, and phases of its production.

Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the process contains 7 phases, beginning with picking and rinsing the olive, and ending with transporting separated clean product to storages and sales.

In the first step, the olives are selected and harvested from an olive tree, then it is passed through rinsing machine, where it is washed with cold water and passed along belt. After that, it is smashed, and will be separated for two products, there are olive stones and olive paste, and subsequently, the given olive paste is put to bag with holes, and is passed a pressing process.

And subsequently, the pressed product is witnessed a separating process, where it will be separated from water, and the given product is clean olive oil, it will be transported into storages and sales for consuming and storaging.

Word Count: 152

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
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Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

olive: 7

separated: 3

product: 3

passed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report covers the main stages of the olive oil production process, with a clear overall structure and appropriate use of sequencing language. However, there are some inaccuracies (e.g., 'production of olive tree' instead of 'olive oil') and minor omissions (e.g., not explicitly mentioning the final product as olive oil). The language is generally clear but could be more precise. To improve, ensure accurate terminology and complete description of each stage.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report has a logical structure and follows the process in order, but there are some issues with cohesion and paragraphing. The use of linking words like 'then', 'after that', and 'subsequently' is adequate, but the flow is occasionally disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear references (e.g., 'it is passed through rinsing machine'). The paragraphing could be improved by grouping related steps more clearly. To enhance coherence, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a distinct stage of the process.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the task, with terms like 'delineates', 'harvested', and 'separating process'. However, there are some inaccuracies and repetitions (e.g., 'product' is used multiple times, 'storages and sales' is awkward). The range of vocabulary is limited, and more precise terms could be used (e.g., 'conveyor belt' instead of 'belt', 'extraction' instead of 'pressing process'). To improve, aim for more varied and natural lexical choices, and avoid informal phrasing like 'clean product'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains several grammatical errors and awkward structures that affect clarity. Examples include 'production of olive tree' (should be 'olive oil'), 'it is passed through rinsing machine' (missing article), 'is witnessed a separating process' (incorrect verb form), and 'storages and sales for consuming and storaging' (redundant and ungrammatical). There is some attempt at complex structures, but control is inconsistent. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct use of articles, and ensuring verb tenses are consistent. Punctuation also needs attention, such as commas in lists.

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