Process Diagram

Band 6+: Writing Process: Olive oil Đề bài: The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

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Image for topic: Writing Process: Olive oil Đề bài: The diagram below shows the production of olive oil.

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The image depicts the production process of olive oil: starts with 1. Picking; proceeds to 2. Rinsing with cold water; then 3. Smashing using a belt; results in olive paste and olive stones; continues with olive paste placed in 4. Bag with holes; goes through 5. Pressing; leads to 6. Separating oil from water; concludes at 7. Storage and sale.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The diagram outlines the process through which olive oil is produced. In total, there are 7 steps involved in the linear process of producing olive oil.

Overall, the production process can be divided into two main stages, beginning with the preparation of the olive paste, ended by the production of pure olive oil and distribution. Notably, the process is a complex one, requiring special machines and human labor.

The first stage commences when olives are harvested and picked by people. They are collected from trees, from where people take olives and deliver to the rinsing process done by machine through cold water.With the help of the belt olives get rid of impurities and then been smashed.Once smashed, a machine gives two products:olive paste and olive stones.

The final stage takes place in a manufacturing facility. Here olive paste would storaged into bags with holes.Next,that bags were pressed by machine and been separated from the oil and water. Finally, oil is packed in bottles for storage and sale in the market.

Word Count: 170

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

olive: 6

process: 5

paste: 3

olives: 3

machine: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report adequately covers the olive oil production process, presenting a clear overview and highlighting key stages. However, there's room for improvement in terms of detail and accuracy. For example, you could elaborate more on the specific actions within each stage and ensure precise language when describing the machinery and processes involved. Also, enhance the coherence and flow by using more varied linking words and phrases to connect the steps in the process more smoothly. Finally, proofread carefully to eliminate minor grammatical errors.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report generally presents a clear overview of the olive oil production process. However, the organization into two main stages could be more clearly defined and consistently followed throughout the description. Transitions between steps could be smoother to enhance the flow of information. For example, explicitly linking the end of one stage to the beginning of the next would improve coherence. Paragraphing is adequate but could be refined to better reflect the stages of the process.

Lexical Resource

The report uses adequate vocabulary to describe the process, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and varied language. For instance, instead of repeatedly using 'machine,' consider using more specific terms related to the equipment involved. Incorporating synonyms and a wider range of descriptive words would enhance the lexical resource.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains grammatical errors and phrasing issues that affect clarity. There are inconsistencies in verb tense and subject-verb agreement. For example, 'olive paste would storaged' and 'that bags were pressed' contain errors. Correcting these errors and ensuring consistent grammatical structures would improve the accuracy and readability of the report. Pay close attention to the correct use of articles (a, an, the) and prepositions.

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