Bar Chart

Band 7+: Writing task 1 The chart below shows the percentages of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities at home in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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Image for topic: Writing task 1 The chart below shows the percentages of time Australian mothers and fathers spent helping their children with four activities at home in 2013. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The image displays a bar chart titled "Time parents spent helping their children, 2013," detailing the percentage of help from mothers, fathers, or both across four children's activities. For Dressing, the percentages are Mother 70%, Father 20%, and Both 5%. For Homework, the values are Mother 60%, Father 30%, and Both 10%. In Playing games, the figures are Mother 25%, Father 70%, and Both 5%. For Preparing for beds, the percentages are Mother 45%, Father 50%, and Both 5%.

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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The bar illustrates the percentages of time mothers and fathers in Australia spent helping their children with four domestic activities in 2013. Overall mothers spend much more time helping with dressing and homework whereas fathers spent the highest percentage of time playing games and preparing for beds with their children. Initially the activities which both parents included for helping children is lowest across all four activities.

In terms of dressing mothers spend the highest percentage of time at 70%, while fathers spent 20%. A similar pattern can be seen in homework where mothers spent 60% of the time compared to 30% for fathers. For both activities the time spent by both parents was very low at 5% and 10% respectively.

On the other hand, fathers spent much more time playing games with their children (70%) than mothers (25%). For preparing children for bed the percentages are likely the same with fathers (50%) and mothers (45%). Finally the percantage for both parents helping together was the same for these two activities at 5%.

Word Count: 172

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

mothers: 6

fathers: 6

spent: 6

children: 5

helping: 4

activities: 4

their: 3

parents: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by presenting the main features and making relevant comparisons. The overall trend is clearly identified, and the data for each activity is accurately reported. However, there are a few minor lapses, such as the phrase 'the percentages are likely the same' which is imprecise, and a minor spelling error ('percantage'). Additionally, the final sentence could be more clearly linked to the preceding data. Overall, the response is well-structured and covers the requirements appropriately.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized with clear paragraphs for each group of activities. The overall message is easy to follow. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the phrase 'Initially the activities which both parents included for helping children is lowest' which is awkward and disrupts flow. Also, the final sentence about 'both parents helping together' could be more smoothly integrated. Overall, paragraphing is managed well, but some transitions could be smoother.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate, with some good attempts at paraphrasing (e.g., 'spent the highest percentage of time'). However, there are some inaccuracies and repetitions, such as 'spent' used frequently, and 'percantage' is a spelling error. The range of vocabulary is adequate but not extensive, and there is room for more sophisticated lexical choices to achieve higher flexibility. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report contains a mix of simple and complex structures, but there are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect clarity. For example, 'mothers spend' should be 'mothers spent' for consistency, 'the activities which both parents included for helping children is lowest' is grammatically incorrect, and 'the percentages are likely the same' is awkward. Punctuation is mostly correct, but the errors in grammar and phrasing reduce the overall accuracy and control.

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