Letter

Band 7+: You are moving to a new apartment next month and have hired a moving company, but you need assistance from a colleague who has a large van. Write a letter to your colleague asking for help with the move. You should include details about: the date and time of the move and how long you expect it to take; what items you will need to transport and why the van is necessary; what you can offer in return for your colleague's help.

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Hello Maxwell,

I hope you are doing well.

I’m writing this letter to make a request regarding my move plan.

If you recall during our last conversation, I mentioned that I got a new apartment in Breadfruit street, and my last day in my current accomodation is this Friday. Unfortunately, the moving company I booked, cancelled this morning stating that their big van broke down. I have since then, tried reaching out to some other moving companies but it’s been really tough getting a company that has availability for my move day. After exploring many options, I remembered that you have a big van and that leads me to the reason for writing this letter. I’ll like to request to borrow your van on Friday, 18th October from 8am till approximately 4pm same day. The move itself shouldn’t take more than 2hours but I added the buffer in case of traffic.

The items I’ll be moving includes: A 20 inch television, 7.5kva generator, 3-seater sofa, 1 centre table, TV console, 4 by 5 mattress, bedframe and 6 big suitcases. It will really mean a lot to me if you can honour my request. I know how inconvenient this may be on a short notice but I’m willing to in turn volunteer for your next community outreach.

Thank you and looking forward to your response.

Yours sincerely,

Ololade.

Word Count: 227

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

request: 3

moving: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter effectively addresses the task, covering all three required points: the date/time and duration of the move, the items to be transported and why the van is necessary, and an offer in return. The tone is polite and appropriate. However, there are a few minor lapses: the request is phrased as borrowing the van rather than asking for the colleague's help (which is the task requirement), and the offer of volunteering for a community outreach may not be directly relevant to the colleague's interests. To improve, explicitly ask for the colleague's assistance (e.g., 'Could you help me move?') and make the offer more personal or practical, such as helping with a task the colleague needs or providing a meal.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized and easy to follow. The purpose is clear, and the details are presented in a coherent sequence. However, the opening paragraph is a bit lengthy and could be more concise. The paragraphing is adequate, but the second paragraph is quite long and could be split into two for better readability. Overall, the message flows well, but there is room for improvement in paragraph management.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and generally accurate. There is a good range of words and phrases, such as 'exploring many options' and 'inconvenient on a short notice.' However, some expressions are slightly informal or awkward, such as 'I'll like to request' (should be 'I would like to request') and 'in turn volunteer for your next community outreach' (could be more natural). The letter would benefit from more sophisticated and precise word choices in a few places.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate use of tenses. However, there are a few errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'I have since then, tried' (comma misuse) and 'The items I'll be moving includes' (subject-verb agreement). Also, 'accomodation' is misspelled. These minor issues do not impede understanding but should be corrected for a higher score.

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