Letter

Band 6+: You are organizing a fundraising event for a local charity. Write a letter to local businesses asking for their support in making arrangements for the event. You should include details about: - the charity you are supporting and why it is important - the type of fundraising event you are planning - how their business can contribute (donations, sponsorship, etc.).

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to a letter to for their help in getting preparations for a fundraising campaign for a domestic charity.

Firstly, that program is very valuable for homeless children as well as people with disabilities. The charity money is used for their education expenses and other services such as clothing, food and medicine etc. So they can enjoy their life without any stress because they are also a part of society. That is main reason it is crucial.

Secondly, our organisation is planning a plethora of fund collecting activities For example organising foot and bicycle race competitions along with some art and craft programs due to this participants pay some amount for joining the competition and some entry fees for the event in which ways are fundraising.

Lastly, your business can provide some aid for the event .Every business company is establishing charity fund and spending this money on which they need and local business also helps for the event by providing sponsorship for their program like prize money to competitors and advertising and publicity of the event.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Yours faithfully,

Manjinder Kaur

Word Count: 195

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 4

money: 3

event: 3

business: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task requirements and provides relevant information about the charity, the fundraising event, and how businesses can contribute. However, there are some areas where the response could be improved. For example, the letter could benefit from more specific details about the charity and the fundraising event. Additionally, the language could be more precise and formal in certain places. To improve, focus on providing more concrete examples and using more sophisticated vocabulary.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally understandable, but the organization could be improved. Consider using more explicit transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader. For example, you could start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main point. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the task to maintain clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement. Try to use more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas. For example, instead of 'very valuable,' you could use 'essential' or 'indispensable.' Also, avoid using 'etc.' in formal writing; instead, list specific examples or use 'and other related services.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement, correct article usage ('a letter to for their help' should be 'a letter to ask for their help'), and sentence structure. Review and correct these errors to improve the overall accuracy of your writing. Also, be mindful of using correct prepositions and ensuring that your sentences are grammatically complete.

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Task Response

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Lexical Resource

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