Letter

Band 5+: You are working part-time while studying, and your working hours are clashing with your class timetable. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: explain your situation request a change to your work schedule say how this change will benefit both you and the company Write at least 150 words.

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Dear Sir,

I am writing to minimize my rostered hours in relation to my part-time academic programme.

I am going to join my part-time course at Unitec, Auckland, and since then it is clashing with my working hours, specially on Monday and Tuesday from 8.00 am to 5.00 pm. This has been particularly problematic because I had the lectures on these days only.

I would therefore be grateful if you could shift my rostered on my current weekend off days, that means Saturday and Monday. It would be appreciated if this matter could be addressed within two weeks before the final application date.

However, as I know, my upgrade career will help to this organization due to this course will teach me to develop our manual work to computer base. Moreover, it is improve my productivity and save data for long time used.

Thank you very much for your attention. I look forward to receiving your response.

Yours faithfully,

K. Vahisan

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses the task by explaining the situation, requesting a change to the work schedule, and mentioning the benefits of the change. However, there are some areas for improvement. The explanation of the benefits to the company could be clearer and more specific. Additionally, the letter contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that could be improved for better clarity and flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is generally clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more explicit transition words and phrases to connect your points more smoothly. For example, in the third paragraph, you could start with 'Therefore' or 'Consequently' to clearly indicate the request for a schedule change. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea to enhance clarity.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but there's room for improvement in terms of variety and precision. For instance, instead of 'shift my rostered,' you could use 'adjust my schedule' or 'change my working hours.' Try to incorporate more specific and professional language to enhance the impact of your letter. Also, avoid informal expressions.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity. Pay close attention to sentence structure, verb tense consistency, and correct use of prepositions. For example, 'minimize my rostered hours in relation to' could be rephrased as 'request a reduction in my working hours due to.' Proofread carefully to identify and correct these errors. Also, the sentence 'However, as I know, my upgrade career will help to this organization due to this course will teach me to develop our manual work to computer base' is grammatically incorrect and needs restructuring.

Your town has decided to replace a public park with a large shopping centre. Write a letter of complaint explaining why the park should be protected and how it benefits the community.

Dear sir or Madam, I am writing this letter to express my disappointment about replacing a public park with a large shopping center because roughly speaking you remove a healthy lifestyle. My main reason why i decided to complain about it is that it was the most famous park in our country, there were a […]

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Your town has decided to replace a public park with a large shopping centre. Write a letter of complaint explaining why the park should be protected and how it benefits the community.

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