Letter

Band 6+: You borrowed a valuable camera from your uncle for a trip, but during the trip, the camera was stolen from your bag while you were not looking. Write a letter to your uncle apologizing for the loss. Include details about: what happened to the camera and how it was stolen; why you are sorry for the loss and the trust broken; what you intend to do to compensate for the loss.

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Dear Nancy,

I hope you are doing well. I am writing to apologise for damaging your camera that I had borrowed over the weekend during our road trip.

It got damged after falling off a table at a hotel that we had stopped for lunch causing the lense and shutter to break. While we were seated, one of my friends who was going out to pick a call tripped and fell. She accidentally knocked the camera resulting to breakage.

I am deeply saddened by this for I know how much you treasured it. Moreover, it is a suvenior from our late grandmother and I remember when she gifted you during your tenth birthday party.

To compensete for the damage, I will pay for the repair. In addition, I will buy for you a new stand and a set of lenses as a way of saying sorry to you.

Once again please accept my sincere apologies and I am looking forward to hearing about your thoughts on this matter.

Best wishes,

Faith

Word Count: 171

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter addresses all three bullet points: how the camera got damaged, feelings of regret, and what will be done to replace or repair it. The tone is appropriate and the apology is sincere. However, there are some minor lapses in clarity and detail. For instance, the description of the incident could be clearer (e.g., 'at a hotel that we had stopped for lunch' could be rephrased). Additionally, the offer to replace or repair could be more specific, such as mentioning that you will cover all repair costs or replace the camera if it cannot be fixed. To improve, ensure the letter flows smoothly and check for minor spelling errors (e.g., 'damged', 'lense', 'suvenior', 'compensete'). Overall, the task is well covered, but these small issues prevent it from achieving a higher band.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is logically organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The sequence of events is easy to follow, and the apology is appropriately placed. However, there are minor lapses in cohesion, such as the abrupt transition from the description of the incident to the expression of regret. Consider using linking phrases like 'As you can imagine' or 'This incident has left me feeling' to smooth the flow. Paragraphing is adequate, but could be improved by separating the repair/replacement plan into its own paragraph for clarity.

Lexical Resource

The letter uses a good range of vocabulary appropriate for the task, such as 'apologise', 'treasured', 'compensate', and 'sincere apologies'. There are some spelling errors ('damged', 'lense', 'suvenior', 'compensete') and a few awkward phrases ('resulting to breakage', 'buy for you a new stand'). To improve, use more precise and natural expressions, e.g., 'resulting in damage' and 'buy you a new stand'. The tone is appropriately formal and polite, but could be enhanced with more sophisticated vocabulary, such as 'I am truly remorseful' or 'I will cover the repair costs'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a reasonable range of grammatical structures, including complex sentences and appropriate use of past tenses. However, there are several errors that affect clarity: 'damged' (spelling), 'lense' (spelling), 'suvenior' (spelling), 'compensete' (spelling), 'resulting to breakage' (incorrect preposition), and 'buy for you' (word order). Additionally, the sentence 'While we were seated, one of my friends who was going out to pick a call tripped and fell.' is a bit convoluted; consider simplifying to 'While we were seated, a friend tripped and fell as she was going out to take a call.' Punctuation is mostly correct, but there are minor issues with comma usage. To improve, proofread carefully and practice using a variety of sentence structures with accuracy.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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