Letter

Band 5+: You have bought a new camera but when you got it home you found it had some problems. You returned the camera and spoke to the company representative a week ago but the camera has still not been repaired. Write a letter to the company. In your letter: introduce yourself explain the situation say what action you would like the company to take You should write at least 150 words.

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Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to draw your attention to some problems of my new camera SONY Alpha 700. I am a big fans of SONY Alpha series. I already own three camera from this series but I never encounter this kind of issue.

First, it shows SD card was not detected which I am sure that it actually inserted. Besides, I had checked the SD is function in my laptop. Second, the LCD displays an unexpected color. Last one is the flash light cannot pop up normally when it should be. I returned the camera to store last week and it has still not been repaired. The store only mentions that it will be repaired soon without specific date. I am going to Japan next Friday and I would appreciate that camera can be repaired before it. Otherwise, I want to request refund so I can buy a new one.

I look forward to a positive reply from you.

Your faithfully,

Chieh Fang

Word Count: 164

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

camera: 4

repaired: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses all parts of the task, clearly explaining the situation and desired actions. The language is generally accurate and the tone is suitable for a formal letter. To further improve, consider adding more specific details about when and where the camera was purchased, and perhaps a reference to any warranty information. Also, while the issues are listed, elaborating slightly on the impact of these issues could strengthen the request for action.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally clear and the purpose is evident. However, the organization could be improved for better flow. Consider grouping the issues with the camera more explicitly before stating the desired actions. Adding transition words or phrases between the problems and the requested actions would enhance the letter's coherence.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, and the tone is generally appropriate. However, there's room to enhance the vocabulary to make it more precise and varied. For example, instead of 'this kind of issue,' you could use 'such defects' or 'this malfunction'. Also, consider using more sophisticated language when describing the desired action, such as 'request a full refund' instead of 'request refund'.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains grammatical errors that affect clarity. For example, 'I am a big fans' should be 'I am a big fan.' Also, 'I had checked the SD is function' should be 'I had checked that the SD card is functioning' or 'I checked the SD card's functionality'. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, article usage, and correct tense usage to improve grammatical accuracy. Reviewing and correcting these errors will significantly enhance the letter's overall quality.

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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