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Letter

Band 6+: You heard about an unpaid job in an organization that helps old people. Write a letter to the organizer. In your letter -how you knew the organization - explain the importance of teamwork - what unpaid job you can do for them

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing to apply for the position in VoX for the project to build a fountain for the residents at Aurora House.

I have heard about VoX for long since I read about the project where you guys handed free roses to seniors in nursing homes and I have been looking for volunteering opportunities to contribute to something impactful like that. That is why I did not hesitate at all after I saw this new job posting and immediately started writing this letter.

Building a fountain requires great team works, not only from a physical labor perspective but also from a project complexity and coordination perspective. It would require different expertise and a great deal of manual labor. I would appreciate the opportunity if I can be part of the team.

I have been working as a professional interior designer for 5 years and I had experience with a few clients’ house when the design included a small fountain in the backyard. I would feel previliged if I can participate in drafting the blueprint for the fountain. I would also been more than happy to join the labor into implementing design. I always believer the designer and implementers should work closely.

Thank you for your consideration and I am looking forward to this precious opportunity.

Yours Faithfully,

Chris

Word Count: 223

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

fountain: 4

would: 4

project: 3

labor: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

7

The letter adequately addresses all parts of the task. Minor improvements could enhance the clarity and precision of the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

6

The letter is generally coherent, but some improvements in logical flow and paragraph structure would enhance readability. The grammar errors affect the overall flow.

Lexical Resource

6.5

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but more precise word choices would improve the overall impact. Some minor lexical errors are present.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5

While the letter uses a range of grammatical structures, several errors affect the accuracy and fluency. Improved grammatical accuracy is needed to achieve a higher score.

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