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Band 4+: You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: Explain why you are interested in helping Give details suitable past experience Suggest ways you might help with the event

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I am writing to express my interest in volunteering for the upcoming charity event. Advertised last Saturday at the train station. It is interest to me because I like to watch sports especially track and field, that is why it is attractive.

I want to work sports industry in the future because i still love sports. This is volunteer that is why I cannot receive salary however i am okay because when i was students, a lot of people support me for example my parents and team staff. That is why i want to support them.

I volunteered high school baseball championship operation staff 3 years ago. It is the most biggest students sports tournament in Japan. If someone join the tournament they can be famous. In addition, i did boxing volunteer staff. I did security stuff in fighter’s room. I met many boxer but it was local event that is why I couldn’t meet famous boxer.

I will join the event and i will do volunteer staff constantly, i hope to players will does their best.

Best wishes Asahi Imai

Word Count: 181

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

sports: 4

staff: 4

event: 3

because: 3

volunteer: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter generally addresses the requirements of the task, but there are some issues with relevance and clarity. The explanation of interest is somewhat tangential, focusing more on personal sports interests than direct reasons for wanting to help with a charity event. The past experience is relevant, but the details could be more focused on skills applicable to the charity event. The suggestions for helping are vague. To improve, focus on directly addressing each point in the task with clear and relevant information. Ensure the language is clear and the tone is appropriate for a formal application.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is weak, making it difficult to follow the main points. Paragraphing is present but doesn't effectively separate ideas. The introduction lacks a clear statement of purpose, and the transitions between ideas are abrupt. To improve coherence, use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph and transition words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, you could start by clearly stating your interest and then move on to your reasons for wanting to volunteer. Also, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single aspect of the task.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inaccurate, limiting the expression of ideas. There's a lack of sophisticated vocabulary related to volunteering and event management. To enhance lexical resource, try to use synonyms and more specific words to describe your experiences and suggestions. For example, instead of 'I will do volunteer staff,' you could say 'I am willing to assist with the event operations.' Also, broaden your vocabulary related to sports events and volunteering.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter contains frequent grammatical errors, including incorrect verb tenses, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward sentence structures. These errors impede understanding and detract from the overall quality of the letter. To improve grammatical accuracy, focus on using correct verb tenses consistently, ensuring subject-verb agreement, and constructing clear and concise sentences. Review basic grammar rules and practice writing with attention to detail. Consider using online grammar checkers or seeking feedback from a language tutor to identify and correct errors.

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Band 4+: You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: Explain why you are interested in helping Give details suitable past experience Suggest ways you might help with the event

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: Explain why you are interested in helping Give details suitable past experience Suggest ways you might help with the event

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: Explain why you are interested in helping Give details suitable past experience Suggest ways you might help with the event

You saw an advert in the newspaper asking for volunteers to help run a charity event. Write a letter of application to the organizers. In your letter: Explain why you are interested in helping Give details suitable past experience Suggest ways you might help with the event

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