Bar Chart

Band 4+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. <

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Image for topic: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. <

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The image contains a bar chart titled 'The percentage of children in four kinds of activities, 2009', comparing three age groups. Activity participation for 5-8 years old, 9-11 years old, and 12-15 years old respectively is as follows: Watch TV (~96%, ~80%, ~80%), Read comics (~62%, ~65%, ~65%), Play video games (~60%, ~57%, ~40%), and Ride bikes (~68%, ~62%, ~83%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The illustration provides information about numbers of children in several European countryes in four tipes of activities.

Overall, we have dates about the activities such as Watch TV and Ride bikes, which shows the most higher percentage. The most percentages of all the age categories of activities is Watching TV. Meanwhile the least popular tipe of hobbies is Playin video games, where all of age groups showed the lowest figures. On the midele Nevertheless, Reading comics ocupied a middle position among the activities preferred.

Play video games has the overall lowest numer of children. Only 35 percentage of children from 12 to 15 years old. But in the same age group, childrem had prefered Ride bikes and Watch TV, acording to the bar chart, this figure stands at 80 percentage. While, the average value across all categories at children in 9-11 years old. The most popular activities among little children is watching TV, with almost 100 percentage.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

children: 5

activities: 4

percentage: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report attempts to address the task by identifying some trends, such as the popularity of watching TV and playing video games. However, the response is hindered by significant issues with clarity and data accuracy. There are frequent grammatical errors and spelling mistakes that occasionally make the meaning difficult to follow. Additionally, the report fails to provide a clear, organized comparison of all age groups across all activities, and some sentences are incomplete or lack logical structure. To improve, focus on organizing the information into logical paragraphs (Introduction, Overview, and Detail paragraphs) and ensure that every sentence is grammatically complete and clearly relates to the data provided.

Coherence & Cohesion

The organization of ideas is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the logical flow of the report. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Overall', 'Meanwhile', 'Nevertheless'), they are often used incorrectly or placed in a way that disrupts the sentence structure. To improve, focus on grouping similar data points together and using transition words to show clear relationships between sentences, such as comparing high values versus low values.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is limited and contains frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'countryes', 'tipes', 'tipe', 'midele', 'ocupied', 'numer', 'childrem', 'acording'). There is also repetitive use of basic words. To improve, work on spelling accuracy and try to use a wider range of synonyms for 'show' (e.g., 'illustrate', 'depict', 'reveal') and 'percentage' (e.g., 'proportion', 'share', 'ratio').

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Grammatical errors are frequent and significantly impact the clarity of the message. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, sentence fragments (e.g., 'Only 35 percentage of children from 12 to 15 years old.'), and incorrect word forms (e.g., 'most higher'). Additionally, the use of 'percentage' as a count noun is incorrect; it should be 'percent' or 'the percentage of'. Focus on mastering basic sentence structures and ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a finite verb.

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