Bar Chart

Band 4+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. <

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Image for topic: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. <

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The image contains a bar chart titled 'The percentage of children in four kinds of activities, 2009', comparing three age groups. Activity participation for 5-8 years old, 9-11 years old, and 12-15 years old respectively is as follows: Watch TV (~96%, ~80%, ~80%), Read comics (~62%, ~65%, ~65%), Play video games (~60%, ~57%, ~40%), and Ride bikes (~68%, ~62%, ~83%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

The table chart illustrates the figure of teenagers in a European country who participated in 4 various activities in 2009.

Overall, the most participated activity was watching TV by 5-8 years old group. The lowest participated action playing video games by 12-15 years old group. While 9-11 years old team participated in 4 activities actively.

Firstly, children group was active in watching TV. They indicated 98%. The highest figure in the table. Older children and teenagers showed same percentage of participating in watching television. Their percent was 78%. But children were not active in reading. Percentage of children provided around 59%. In reading comics Adolescents and young teenagers index was approximately 64%.

On playing video games there was significant changes. 5-8 years old group, percentage was 58%, while 9-11 years old group was 56%. But teenagers index was the lowest. Their figure showed 34%. Finally, in riding bikes teenagers showed high quantity. Their index provided 79%. Also children was active on riding bikes. Their percent was 69%. Nevertheless, 9-11 team were not active. Their percentage was around 60%.

Word Count: 178

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

teenagers: 5

years: 5

group: 5

children: 5

their: 5

participated: 4

active: 4

percentage: 4

figure: 3

watching: 3

showed: 3

index: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report addresses the task by mentioning all four activities and the different age groups, but it struggles with accuracy and clarity. There is a frequent misuse of terminology; for example, referring to age groups as 'teams' or 'indices' and calling the bar chart a 'table chart'. While the main trends are identified, the descriptions are sometimes repetitive or slightly confusing. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary (e.g., 'the proportion of' instead of 'the figure of') and ensure that comparisons between groups are more fluidly integrated rather than listing data point by point. Additionally, ensure the overview provides a more cohesive summary of the main trends rather than just identifying the highest and lowest points.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report lacks a clear organizational structure. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices (e.g., 'Firstly', 'Finally', 'Nevertheless'), they are often used incorrectly or feel mechanical. The progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the comparisons between age groups. To improve, try to group information logically - for example, by activity type or by comparing trends across age groups within a single paragraph. Avoid starting every sentence with a simple subject-verb structure; instead, use complex sentences to link ideas.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary is quite limited and often used inaccurately. There is frequent repetition of words like 'group', 'percentage', and 'index'. Some word choices are inappropriate for an academic report, such as calling age groups 'teams' or referring to activities as 'actions'. Additionally, terms like 'high quantity' or 'index provided' are not used correctly in the context of percentages. Aim to use a wider range of synonyms for 'show' (e.g., illustrate, depict, reveal) and 'percentage' (e.g., proportion, share, rate), and ensure that nouns and verbs collocate naturally. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children was active'), improper sentence fragments (e.g., 'The highest figure in the table'), and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'The lowest participated action playing video games'). There is a heavy reliance on simple sentence structures. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence forms, such as using relative clauses ('which', 'who') and subordinating conjunctions ('although', 'while') to combine ideas and improve the flow of the report.

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