Bar Chart

Band 6+: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. <

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Image for topic: You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The chart below shows the percentage of children in a European country who took part in four kinds of activities in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words. <

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The image contains a bar chart titled 'The percentage of children in four kinds of activities, 2009', comparing three age groups. Activity participation for 5-8 years old, 9-11 years old, and 12-15 years old respectively is as follows: Watch TV (~96%, ~80%, ~80%), Read comics (~62%, ~65%, ~65%), Play video games (~60%, ~57%, ~40%), and Ride bikes (~68%, ~62%, ~83%).

Given the complexity of the image, the above description may not be entirely accurate.

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

“The bar chart illustrates the percentage of children in a particular European country who participated in four activities-watching TV, reading comics, playing video games, and riding bikes.

Overall, higher percentage of children from the ages of 5-8 and 9-11 engaged in watching TV, while the ones aged 12-15 involved with riding bikes. The least activity where the children of the three age groups took part in is playing video games.

In the first age group, around 90% took part in watching TV, which is the highest among the three age groups. This was followed by riding bikes at about 65%, and 60% each of the remaining activities.

Children from 9-11 engaged more in watching TV at just above 75%, followed by reading comics and riding bikes at approximately 60%. The least particpated activity for this age group is playing video games at about 55%.

In contrast to the first two age groups, significant portion of the children from 12-15 years old participated in riding bikes, at a percentage of 80%, closely followed by watching TV at around 78%. The remaining activities, reading comics and playing video games, registered an amount of approximately 65% and 37%, respectively.

Word Count: 196

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

riding: 5

children: 4

playing: 4

video: 4

watching: 4

bikes: 4

percentage: 3

reading: 3

comics: 3

games: 3

groups: 3

followed: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The report effectively addresses the task by identifying the main trends and providing a clear overview of the data. The comparison between age groups is well-handled, and the structure is logical, with a clear introduction, overview, and detailed body paragraphs. To improve, ensure that the overview is even more precise; for instance, noting that watching TV is generally the most popular activity across most groups would strengthen the summary. Additionally, minor grammatical refinements regarding article usage (e.g., 'a higher percentage' instead of 'higher percentage') would enhance the overall flow.

Coherence & Cohesion

The report is logically organized, with a clear introduction, overview, and body paragraphs divided by age group. This makes the information easy to follow. However, the transition between paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, try using more sophisticated cohesive devices and linking words to connect the trends between the different age groups rather than just treating each group as an isolated entity. For example, instead of starting a new paragraph with 'In the first age group', you could use comparative structures to link it to the subsequent groups.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and covers the necessary range to describe the data (e.g., 'illustrated', 'engaged in', 'registered an amount of'). There is some good use of approximation (e.g., 'around', 'approximately'). To reach a higher band, aim for more variety in your word choices to avoid repetition (e.g., instead of repeating 'participated' or 'took part in', use 'engaged in', 'involved in', or 'opted for'). Also, ensure that nouns and verbs are used with high precision, such as using 'proportion' or 'percentage' correctly in all contexts. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The report demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that prevent a higher score. Specifically, there are issues with article usage (e.g., 'higher percentage' should be 'a higher percentage', 'significant portion' should be 'a significant portion') and subject-verb agreement/phrasing (e.g., 'the ones aged 12-15 involved with riding bikes' is missing a verb like 'were'). Pay close attention to the use of articles and ensure that every sentence has a clear, grammatically complete structure.

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Overall Band Score

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