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Letter

Band 6+: You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Mr. Johnson,

I am writing this letter to express my interest in job relocation to another department of the company.

To begin with, I have worked here for 2 years. Currently, I am working as a procurement specialist. It was my honor that I could learn how I could purchase local and foreign goods. Additionally, I could improve my teamwork skills.I would like to ask you to rotate my job position.

I am willing to continue as a project coordinator, as I know the corporation structure very well. So, it would be profitable for more cooperation. Also, we will be able to enhance project execution in terms of physical progress.

Fortunately, my job experience is unbelievable here and I prefer to stay at the company. Moreover, my colleagues are outstanding due to ethical codes. Thus, I would not like to leave the workplace. I wish I could start my job in another position.

I am eagerly looking forward to hearing your response.

Best Regards,

Ali Pazoki

Word Count: 167

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

could: 4

would: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter effectively addresses all aspects of the task. The letter clearly states the reasons for wanting to move departments and provides a convincing argument for the benefits to the company.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized, but there are some minor issues with the flow of ideas. The letter could benefit from more cohesive transitions between paragraphs.

Lexical Resource

6.5

The letter demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances where more precise or sophisticated language could be used.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5

The letter contains some grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and fluency. The letter could benefit from a thorough proofread.

Answers On The Same Topic:

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

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Band 8+

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Band 8+

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Band 7+

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Dear Mr. Turner, I am writing to express my interest in transferring to another department, as I believe this change will support both my career development and the company’s growth. During the past two years as a Customer Service Representative, I have gained strong communication skills, learned to resolve client concerns effectively, and developed valuable […]

Band 9

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

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Band 4+

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Overall Band Score

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Coherence & Cohesion

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Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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