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Letter

Band 4+: You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir,

It has been great experience working with your organization. Throughout my duration in your company, I learned a lot about administration. This also helped me maintain huge networks and troubleshoot issues.

As I grow myself by learning new things, I wish to join DataBase Admin position in department. It is backbone of company and with my years of knowledge, company will have great benefit as I can handle software networks effectively. Being in technical support doesn’t let me interact with important ongoing processes.

The organization is well known high-tech in the transmission technology. I have look forward working with same years company. I look myself a renowned position in back during next years.

Best regards,

John Will

Word Count: 119

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

company: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

4.5

The letter adequately addresses all parts of the task. However, the explanation of benefits to the company and reasons for staying could be more detailed and persuasive. The letter falls short of the required 150 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

4.5

The letter's message is mostly understandable, but the flow could be improved with better paragraphing and clearer transitions between ideas. Grammatical errors affect the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

5.5

The vocabulary used is appropriate, but a wider range and more precise word choices would enhance the letter's impact. Some lexical choices are slightly inaccurate.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that hinder clarity and fluency. Improving grammatical accuracy is crucial for a higher score.

Answers On The Same Topic:

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

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Band 8+

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

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Band 8+

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

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Band 7+

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

Dear Mr. Turner, I am writing to express my interest in transferring to another department, as I believe this change will support both my career development and the company’s growth. During the past two years as a Customer Service Representative, I have gained strong communication skills, learned to resolve client concerns effectively, and developed valuable […]

Band 9

You started in your present job two years ago. You now feel it is important for your career development to move to a different department in the same company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter say what you have learned in your present job suggest how the company would benefit from moving you to a different department explain why you do not wish to leave the company

Dear Mr. Brown I am writing to inform you that I have been working at your company for two years as a employer. Now, I am development to move a different department at the same origination. At the moment, I learn many different work such as, I do more work on computer , how to […]

Band 4+

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