Letter

Band 6+: You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: - why you want to join the club - what sports you are interested in - any relevant experience you have

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Dear Golfer,

I am Lydiah Katumbwi, a resident of Membly Estate, in Clay Works, Nairobi. I heard an advert from Citizens Tv about your golf club members recruitment opening, that is will culminate on 15th June this year. I have played golf for 5 years now in Western London, where I have been residing but I have since relocated to Kenya for my retirement.

I kindly request to meet you on 15th June from 8:45 a.m for a 30 minutes introductory session, to learn more about members benefits before joining the team. I would also appreciate a schedule of events for the next one year and any other information that would be beneficial to prospect members, including networking platforms.

Additionally, I would appreciate details of any other documents required or membership fees that I need to pay prior.I look forward to your positive feedback to this email and truly appreciate your great support.

Yours sincerly,

Lydiah Katumbwi.

Word Count: 157

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

members: 3

would: 3

appreciate: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all parts of the task. You clearly identified the sport (golf), requested a specific time, and inquired about documentation and fees. However, there is a slight omission regarding the second bullet point: you did not mention what equipment you might need to borrow, which was a specific requirement of the prompt. Additionally, the salutation 'Dear Golfer' is somewhat unusual for a formal letter to a club secretary; 'Dear Secretary' or 'Dear Sir/Madam' would be more appropriate. To improve, ensure every specific sub-bullet in the prompt is explicitly addressed to avoid losing marks for task achievement.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter follows a logical progression, addressing the prompts in a structured manner. However, the transition between the introduction and the request for a meeting could be smoother. To improve, ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. For example, the first paragraph contains a lot of biographical information that, while providing context, slightly delays the main purpose of the letter. Using more effective cohesive devices (like 'Regarding my visit...' or 'In terms of requirements...') would help guide the reader more naturally through your points.

Lexical Resource

You have used some good vocabulary such as 'culminate', 'relocated', and 'prospect members'. However, there are some awkward word choices and phrasing issues. For instance, 'Dear Golfer' is an inappropriate salutation for a club secretary; 'Dear Secretary' or 'Dear Sir/Madam' would be more professional. Additionally, 'members benefits' should be 'membership benefits'. To reach a higher band, aim for more natural collocations and ensure that the tone remains consistently formal throughout the letter.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There are several grammatical errors that impact the flow of the text. Issues include run-on sentences (e.g., the sentence starting with 'I heard an advert...'), incorrect relative clause usage ('that is will culminate'), and punctuation errors (missing spaces after periods). There is also a spelling error in the sign-off ('sincerly'). To improve, focus on sentence structure - specifically using subordinating conjunctions to avoid long, rambling sentences - and carefully proofread for basic spelling and punctuation accuracy.

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Band 6+: You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: - why you want to join the club - what sports you are interested in - any relevant experience you have

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: – why you want to join the club – what sports you are interested in – any relevant experience you have

You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: – why you want to join the club – what sports you are interested in – any relevant experience you have

You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: – why you want to join the club – what sports you are interested in – any relevant experience you have

You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: – why you want to join the club – what sports you are interested in – any relevant experience you have

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