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Letter

Band 4+: You want to join a local sports club to improve your fitness and meet new people. Write a letter to the club secretary. You should include: - why you want to join the club - what sports you are interested in - any relevant experience you have

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir or Madam

Good morning, hope today is you best day. I am Jessica from Public heath major, Year 1. I saw the educational affairs board that annoced about admission sport club therefore, I would like to anticipate this club due to basically, I am enthusiatic and energetic person who always worry about my fitness and healthy body. I think it would be great if I am able to be part of this club to gain an heathier life and relieve my stress from studying in long future.

Nevertheless, I still wonder a little detail that would like you to inform about club’s facilities such as equipments and places which are provided to students and also activities in everday. If you are able to let me know eariler would appreciated for me to arrange my time and match my suitable schedule. Moreover, is there any memership fee in this club? and access to this club via online register or walk-in register.

looking forward to recieving your email back in nearest future from you

Your faithfully

Jessica

Word Count: 177

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Overall Band Score

4.5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
would: 4
about: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

7
The letter addresses all parts of the task, introducing the writer, explaining the reason for wanting to join, and asking about facilities, activities, fees, and registration. There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, but overall the letter is clear and fulfills the requirements of the task. To improve, focus on using more natural and accurate language.

Coherence & Cohesion

4
The letter's organization is somewhat clear, but the flow of ideas could be improved. Consider using more effective transitions between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader. For example, in the first paragraph, clearly state your intention to join the club before explaining your reasons. In the second paragraph, group your questions logically and use transitional phrases to connect them smoothly. The closing could be more formal and direct.

Lexical Resource

4
The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes inaccurate. For instance, 'annoced' should be 'announced,' and 'anticipate this club' is not the correct phrasing. Aim to use more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas clearly. For example, instead of 'enthusiatic and energetic person,' you could say 'a highly motivated and active individual.' Also, 'gain an heathier life' should be 'gain a healthier life.'

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3
The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Errors include incorrect verb tenses ('hope today is you best day'), subject-verb agreement issues, and incorrect word usage ('eariler' should be 'earlier,' 'memership' should be 'membership'). Focus on improving sentence structure and ensuring correct grammar and punctuation. Proofread carefully to catch and correct these errors.

Answers On The Same Topic:

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