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Letter

Band 5+: You want to start your own business write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business you want to start,How much money you need,the length of time over which you would expect to repay you borrow

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Dear Sir/Madam

My name is Rania I have beeb a loyal client of your respectable bank since I was 20 years old.ican say that I am a satisfied client.

I am planning to put up my own business, I am thingking about a bakeshop because i love baking I actually bake some cookies for the birthday of my daughter and the visitor love it,so I decided to start a small bakeshop at the back of my house and store in front of our property.

I read from your website that you are offering a business loan.I want to inquire about this offer.Upon estimating I found out that I need 1 million pesos start the said business. I can not see any problem for repayment because I have other business that can help me repay my debt.If my loan will be granted I would like to repay in in 1 year.

I am looking forward to your kind response

respectfully yours

Rania

Word Count: 161

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
A2 - Upper Beginner
Consider using more varied and advanced words.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

business: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses the task but lacks detail and precision in several areas. More specific information about the business plan and financial projections would strengthen the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter's organization is understandable, but the flow could be improved with more logical transitions and better paragraphing. The numerous grammatical errors detract from the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

4.5

The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks range and precision. More sophisticated language and business-related terminology would enhance the letter's impact.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5

The letter contains numerous grammatical errors that significantly impede understanding and affect the overall impression. Improved grammatical accuracy is crucial.

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