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Letter

Band 6+: You want to start your own small business. Write a letter to a bank requesting information about obtaining a business loan to finance your new company. Include the following information: • what kind of business you want to start • how much money you need • the length of time over which you would expect to repay the money You should write at least 150 words.

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Dear Sir or Madam

Hope this letter finds you well. I am writing to inquire about details regarding a loan from your bank to provide finance for my new bakery shop. This bakery will be situated nearby the river valley park that is being renovated. A large number of tourist will be expected to visit the new park and I am planning on capitalizing this incredible opportunity.

Regarding the details of the loan, an estimated 30,000 Canadian dollars would be needed. In which, most of the money will be utilized in acquiring the land area in close proximity to the park. A good chunk will be used in hiring and salaries of the staff. While, the rest will be utilized in marketing and advertisment of the new shop.

Lastly, under the optimal circumstances the loan will be repaid in five years, with monthly mortgage payments according to your bank’s interest rate.

Yours faithfully

Jay

Word Count: 154

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:
No noticeable repetition! Great job!

Task Response

The letter adequately addresses all parts of the task. Minor improvements in clarity and structure would enhance the response.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally coherent, but some improvements in sentence structure and flow would enhance readability and cohesion.

Lexical Resource

6.5

The vocabulary used is appropriate for the task, but a wider range and more precise word choices would strengthen the letter.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

5.5

While the letter is understandable, grammatical errors and inconsistencies affect the overall clarity and accuracy. Improving grammatical accuracy will significantly improve the score.

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