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Band 7+: You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

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Dear Mr. Hannaford,

I am writing to request to reduce my working hours in order to study part time. I have been considering a Master of Business Administration (MBA) program to help me further my role in the company.

I propose to align my classes with your work schedule. Since you work from home on Mondays and Fridays, I propose to do my studies on these days. I suggest to be in the office when you are there to support you and the team, which is on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. I have been looking into MBA programs from different universities and the one at Swinburne University of Technology in the city seems to suit my recommended work schedule the best.

When I finish this course, I believe it would further my business acumen to prepare me for a leadership role in the company as we have discussed. I am currently a Senior Lead in the Business Development department, and I hope to gain the necessary skills to step into a managerial position down the line.

Thank you for the time and I hope for your consideration on my request.

Dianne Santos

Word Count: 192

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

business: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter appropriately addresses the task by explaining the reason for wanting to reduce working hours, specifying the desired work schedule, and describing the benefits of part-time studies to the employer. The information is relevant and sufficient. Minor improvements could include elaborating further on the specific skills gained from the MBA program and how they directly translate into benefits for the company.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is well-organized and the purpose is clear from the beginning. The ideas are presented in a logical sequence, making it easy to follow your request and reasoning. To enhance coherence, consider using transitional phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly. For example, you could add a phrase like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition to' when explaining the benefits of your studies to your employer.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and demonstrates a good range, especially in describing your professional goals and the MBA program. The language is professional and suitable for addressing your boss. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more specific business-related terminology where appropriate to showcase your understanding of the field.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, with only minor errors that do not significantly impede understanding. While the sentence structures are generally accurate, there's room to vary them for a more sophisticated writing style. For example, try incorporating more complex sentences or using different types of clauses to add depth to your writing. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement and correct tense usage to minimize errors.

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Band 7+: You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Answers On The Same Topic:

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

Other Topics:

You want to improve a local park. Write a letter to your local council suggesting improvements they could make. In your letter: - Describe the park - Explain why you think it needs improvements - Suggest what improvements they could make

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