Letter

Band 7+: You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter: explain why you want to reduce your working hours say which hours you would like to work describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Sir,

I am writing to inform you that I plan to take a course in business administration, which would help me a lot to enhance my general skills, such as organization skills, problem-solving, and the ability to communicate proficiently, and that would improve my qualification.

But I face some work obstacles as I have excessive work hours; therefore, I cannot find the time for the course. That is why I would like to ask you for a reduction. Instead of starting work from 9 AM to 10 PM, it would be much better to reduce that and start from 1 PM. Notably, I do not mind a pay cut based on the number of hours I work, but I would like you to consider that I want to take this course to use the knowledge from it to assist this company to develop.

I wish you to consider my request; however, we can further discuss it in the next supervision meeting.

Yours sincerely,

Angel Swanpoel

Word Count: 166

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

would: 5

course: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The letter addresses all parts of the task, explaining the reason for wanting to reduce working hours, specifying the desired hours, and describing the benefits to the employer. There are some minor areas for improvement. For instance, elaborating more on the specific benefits of the business administration course to the company could strengthen the response. Also, the tone could be slightly more formal and persuasive to enhance the impact of the request.

Coherence & Cohesion

The letter is generally well-organized and the message is clear. However, the transition between explaining the course and requesting the reduction in hours could be smoother. Consider using transitional phrases to better connect your ideas. For example, you could add a sentence at the end of the first paragraph that directly leads into your need for reduced hours.

Lexical Resource

The vocabulary used is appropriate and conveys the message effectively. To enhance this further, try incorporating more specific business-related vocabulary when describing how your studies will benefit the company. This will demonstrate a more sophisticated understanding of the subject matter.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The letter demonstrates a good command of grammar, though there are a few areas for improvement. Pay attention to sentence structure and clarity. For example, the first sentence is a bit long and could be broken down for better readability. Also, ensure correct use of punctuation throughout the letter.

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