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Letter

Band 5+: You would like to work in a different city to be closer to your family. Write a letter to your employer to request a transfer to another office. In the letter: - Explain why you would like to move - Request that your employer place you in a specific city - Request that it be completed by a certain date

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Note: Both the topic and the answer were created by one of our users.

Dear Manager,

I am writing to do a request regarding a vacant post in the company in a different city and I want to shift my workplace for family requirements.

The main reason for this request of transfer is that it will take me near to my family and it is easy for me to reach home every day. My wife is pregnant and in her 9 month so she needs my availability at home for taking care of her. Moreover, it will offer more security to my family as they do not have to worry about anything such as to admit my wife, bringing all the necessary stuffs.

I am requesting you that kindly provide me the transfer to Bathinda location where a post is vacant and it can be both win-win situation as staying in a same company and also having opportunity to come closer to family.

Kindly complete all the necessary documents and procedure before 20th July as gynaecologist appointed my wife’s delivery on 29th July so it provides me a sufficient time to shift to my home. I will ensure that all the handover of my responsibilities to a new staff so he or she runs it smoothly.

I hope you will consider my situation favourably and do the procedure timely.

Yours faithfully

Amrit

Word Count: 218

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Overall Band Score

5
(+/- 0.5)
Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.
Grammar Mistakes: N/A
Vocabulary Repetition:
family: 3
Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

6.5
The letter adequately addresses all parts of the task. The reasons for the transfer are clearly stated, a specific location is requested, and a deadline is given. However, the request could be more formally structured for improved clarity and impact.

Coherence & Cohesion

5
The letter's message is generally understandable. However, the flow could be improved with better paragraphing and sentence structure. Some sentences are awkwardly phrased, impacting the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource

4.5
The vocabulary used is appropriate for the context, but there's room for improvement in word choice and precision. More sophisticated vocabulary could enhance the letter's professionalism.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

3.5
The letter contains several grammatical errors that affect the overall clarity and fluency. Improving grammatical accuracy is crucial for a higher score.

Answers On The Same Topic:

You would like to work in a different city to be closer to your family. Write a letter to your employer to request a transfer to another office. In the letter: – Explain why you would like to move – Request that your employer place you in a specific city – Request that it be completed by a certain date

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