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Band 4+: 📝TASK 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Although, people opine that when complete the school, it should be better to make a work place or a job because this may help to earning money at the early time also can get so many experience. I and others believe that they should study at univercity or college is the impactfull way to make a shine career because it helps us by giving knowledge or higher education.

On the one hand, people support the latter idea because they can easily get financial support by joining job in a early age after school. Apart from that, if they are get the higher education they cannot earnb money at a early stage. Besides, they cannot get any kind of work experience. However, when they are involve with work after school they can get more money than the people who are getting higher education. Because of that, they can make them a qualitiful worker easily. Therefore, people supports the idea to join job at the early stage when they complete their school.

On the other hand, others support the former statement because it makes our path easy by getting higher education. First of all, studying in a univercity or a college has a impactfull support for grow our career. If someone cannot get the heigher education in university or college, then they faces so many problems in their workplace. Apart from that, without higher education, they cannot fullfill their knowledge. Therefore, without any educational knowledge they may face so many lacking in their job sector. When we can get the higher education or gaining good knowledge about the all of the things, its may helps to build your career easily. After that, you can get good job also with honor and you may use the knowledge in your job when you want. Additionally, that’s the reasons for some people agree or alike this statement.

To sum up, i want to reiterate that by studying university or college, they can get higher education or knowledge to make a successfull career. So, after getting higher education then make a job or joining in a job is more blessing. Hence, i believe that everyone should to gain higher education then try to get a job which is a blessing for them.

Word Count: 376

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

higher: 9

education: 9

knowledge: 6

people: 5

because: 5

early: 4

college: 4

career: 4

support: 4

after: 4

cannot: 4

their: 4

school: 3

should: 3

money: 3

easily: 3

getting: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both views as required, but the discussion is limited and lacks depth. The position is clear (in favor of university education), but the development of arguments is repetitive and lacks specific examples or detailed reasoning. There are also grammatical errors that affect clarity. To improve, focus on developing each viewpoint with more detailed, relevant examples and logical progression. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and support it with evidence. Also, work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay attempts to present both views and a personal opinion, but the logical flow is hampered by unclear referencing and abrupt transitions. For instance, the first paragraph introduces the two perspectives in a confusing manner, and the second paragraph mixes reasons for one view without a clear overarching topic sentence. To improve, start each body paragraph with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea, and use cohesive devices (e.g., 'on the other hand', 'furthermore', 'as a result') to link your ideas more smoothly. Also, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main point and that your opinion is clearly stated and consistently supported throughout.

Lexical Resource

The essay relies on a limited range of vocabulary, with frequent misuse of words (e.g., 'impactfull', 'qualitiful', 'fullfill', 'heigher'). Attempts to use more formal or sophisticated terms are often incorrect or awkward. To improve, expand your vocabulary base and practice using words in context. Use more precise and varied terms to express your ideas, and avoid repetition. For example, instead of repeating 'higher education' and 'knowledge', consider synonyms like 'tertiary education', 'academic learning', or 'expertise'. Additionally, proofread to eliminate spelling errors, as they affect the overall quality. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that impede clarity. Subject-verb agreement errors (e.g., 'people opine that when complete the school', 'they faces'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'help to earning money', 'can get the higher education'), and improper use of articles and prepositions are frequent. To improve, practice writing with attention to basic sentence structure (subject-verb-object) and review rules for tenses, articles, and prepositions. Also, vary your sentence structures to include complex sentences, but ensure they are grammatically correct. Reading academic texts can help you internalise correct grammar and syntax.

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Band 4+: 📝TASK 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

📝TASK 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

📝TASK 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

📝TASK 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

📝TASK 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others think that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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