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Band 4+: 2. People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

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It is universally acknowledged that consumption of sugar-based drinks is snowballing by leaps and bounds. It is among the principal concerns being faced by people of this century which has taken birth due to numerous reasons and has dire consequences which will be discussed in this essay along with a few possible solutions.

Innumerable factors are culpable for the growth of it. The first and foremost reason which strikes my mind is that now people are more dependent on the packed meal and drinks and these drinks are provided in the market in abundance at cheaper rate. these drinks are not healthy drinks and have high amount of sugar which affects the health of people also some drinks are chemical produced drink which are hazardous to all the children health . Apart from this there are many energy drink which have high sugar and calorie in it which affect the children’s health . Apart from this the advertisement come on the television of this sugar drink put in the mind of children that these drinks are good but in actual it is not good.

Two solution side all the tackling such a problem will not easy some major can be taken to curb it . First and foremost solution is that the government should put some restriction on the promotion and advertisement related to all the energy drinks and sugar drinks . Also the Health Organisation should organise some program regarding health problems that people will got from these sugar drink which will make people aware how risky these drinks are.After cogitating on a great deal of thoughts and discussion, the conclusion to be drawn here is that everything has its own significant value. What required is, to have an optimistic approach and positive attitude.

Word Count: 295

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Overall Band Score

4.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

drinks: 10

which: 8

people: 5

these: 5

sugar: 5

health: 5

drink: 4

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the reasons for the increasing consumption of sugar-based drinks and suggests some solutions. However, the ideas presented are not fully developed and lack depth. The essay could benefit from providing more specific examples and elaborating on the consequences of consuming sugary drinks. Additionally, the conclusion does not directly tie back to the main topic. To improve, focus on expanding on the reasons and consequences of sugary drink consumption and ensure the conclusion summarizes the main points discussed.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay lacks coherence and cohesion due to the disjointed organization of ideas. There are abrupt transitions between paragraphs, and the overall flow of the essay is disrupted. Additionally, there are some repetitive phrases and unclear pronoun references that affect the clarity of the essay. To enhance coherence, work on structuring the essay with clear topic sentences for each paragraph and use cohesive devices to connect ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but there are instances of awkward phrasing and inaccuracies. Some words are used incorrectly, and there is a need for more precise language to convey ideas effectively. To improve, focus on using vocabulary more accurately and consider using synonyms to avoid repetition.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

There is an attempt to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay. Issues with subject-verb agreement, verb tense consistency, and sentence fragments detract from the overall clarity of the writing. To enhance grammatical accuracy, pay closer attention to sentence structure and ensure proper agreement between subjects and verbs.

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Band 4+: 2. People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

2. People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

2. People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

2. People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

2. People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

2. People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks. Why? What can be done to reduce sugary drink consumption?

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Some people say that advertisement is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discus both views and give your opinion.

The government should spend money in promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring professional sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, there is not enough respect for elderly people. Why is this the cose? Suggest some solutions.

Some people think that the government should provide free public libraries in every town, while others think that this is a waste of money because people can access to information on the Internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

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