Cause And Solution

Band 6+: Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

See all user-written essays on this topic

Skyrocket your IELTS band score by 1-2 points in under a month with our premium plan!

Note: Both the topic and the essay were created by one of our users.

Nowadays the crime rate is increasing among young people. The main reason is financial problems, which attract young people to commit a crime. This essay will discuss the primary causes of this issue and suggest practical solutions to tackle it.

There are several reasons why young people become addicted in criminal activities. First some teenagers’ parents don’t have stable jobs. And young people go through a lot. They have some difficult experiences and might have financial problems. Sometimes parents are busy with their jobs. When they are working, they cannot give attention to their children. Because of this, some young people feel lonellines . For example, if they want to buy something new, they don’t have enough money, and they decide to commit a crime. Also, social media has an influence on crime. Some young people might see dangerous videos, get obsessed with these videos, and commit an offence.

To address these problems both the government and society need to take action. To begin with, governments should prevent crime and strengthen the law. However, despite the law some young people do not want to abide by the law. So, governments should invest in people who have challenges with their financial problems. For example, they need to help them about educational skills and job problems. Furthermore, parents should limit their children’s phones to avoid harmful contents This helps deter criminals.

In conclusion, the rise in young people crime is mainly caused by weak parental control, financial issues, and bad media influences. However, these issues can be reduced if parents take care of their children and the government improve educational and job opportunities.

Word Count: 271

Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Check My Essay

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Generate A Sample

Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B2 - Upper Intermediate
Opt for even more advanced words when appropriate.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 9

young: 8

crime: 6

problems: 5

their: 5

financial: 4

parents: 4

commit: 3

these: 3

should: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by identifying causes and suggesting measures, and it presents a clear position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks depth. For example, the causes are listed but not fully explained or supported with specific examples. The solutions are also general and could be more detailed. To improve, ensure each main idea is fully extended with explanations and examples, and consider structuring paragraphs more clearly with topic sentences. Additionally, work on grammatical accuracy and word choice to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas flow from causes to solutions, and paragraphing is appropriate. However, some transitions between sentences and ideas could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is sometimes repetitive (e.g., 'Also', 'Furthermore'). To improve, vary linking words and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with supporting details that are well-connected.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a reasonable range of vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'commit a crime', 'financial problems', 'strengthen the law', 'deter criminals'). However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrasings, such as 'addicted in criminal activities' (should be 'addicted to criminal activities'), 'lonellines' (spelling error), and 'help them about educational skills' (should be 'help them with educational skills'). To improve, expand vocabulary range and ensure precise word choice and collocations. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of sentence structures, including complex sentences and some conditional forms. There are only minor grammar errors, such as subject-verb agreement ('the government improve' should be 'the government improves') and occasional punctuation issues (e.g., missing comma after 'Furthermore'). Overall, grammar is controlled and does not impede understanding. To achieve a higher score, aim for more varied sentence structures and ensure consistent accuracy in punctuation and agreement.

Essays On The Same Topic:

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. Identify the possible causes of this trend, and propose some solutions you think would be effective.

In many republics, the rate of crime is rising, especially among youngsters. I firmly believe that it can lead to numerous problems among children living in urban areas. Nevertheless, we can avoid them with implementing beneficial solutions for enlighten youngsters. One of the most pressing issues related to this topic is these types of young […]

Band 6+

See All

In some countries younger people are neglecting their right to vote. What problems does this cause and what are some of the possible solution?

Decreased participation of youngsters in elections is becoming a major problem. Even though the number of youngsters who can vote is low, it is important for them to be involved in politics. As low participation of youngsters in elections can result in unwanted educational decisions, and lowers their interest to understand what’s happening around them. […]

Band 6+

Some people believe that spending money on preserving old buildings is a waste, as new buildings are more useful. Do you agree or disagree?

Spending money on repair old houses is unnecessary expenses and money should be spent on reconstruct new ones. I totally agree with this view because of modern design and safety. On the other hand, new houses can provide better living conditions. They are often built with modern facilities and energy-efficient materials. As a result, residents […]

Band 5+

Some individuals argue that a large amount of money makes life easier and more comfortable, while others believe that lots of money brings more trouble. Do the advantages of having a lot of money outweigh the disadvantages?

Some individuals argue that a large amount of money makes life easier and more comfortable, while others believe that lots of money bring more trouble. Although a significant amount of money has some drawbacks, I believe that the advantages its outweigh the disadvantages. There are numerous benefits of having sufficient money. First and foremost, individuals […]

Band 5+

in some countries around the world, men and women are having babies late in life. what are the reasons? is it a positive or negative development?

Having a child later in life has become common among many people in many parts of the world. While there several reasons of this trend, I think it is largely negative as it reduces time that could be spent with children, and makes parents less caring for their children. On the one hand, there are […]

Band 7+

Some people believe that globalization is leading to the disappearance of traditional cultures. Others think it helps people to better understand different cultural traditions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some believe cultural traditions are disappearing because of increasing globalisation and the growing influence of digital media. Advocates argue that the rise of technology plays an important role in advertising and conserving local traditions. Personally, I believe that globalisation and the development of technology both have benefits and challenges for local traditional cultures. To start […]

Band 7+

See All