Opinion

Band 6+: Giving detailed descriptions of crimes in newspapers and on TV can have negative consequences, so it should be restricted. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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proposition that showing detailed data about crimes in both newspapers and Television has gained considerable traction in public discourse. I strongly agree with this view on the grounds that innocent citizens should not be witness of documentary of criminals.

these days watching TV and newspapers are source of fresh gossip. But not every article and show are harmless. Documentary shows and information about crimes are best perfect example of it. Graphic, 3D bloody details, images and recycled trauma stories cam severely effect on innocent people, especially teens and young children. That’s because those people are subjected to fear or they might have trauma related to it. As a result this might trigger their danger alarm later on, making them afraid of even single part of horror. A compelling example is in this year research on young adults and 5 to 7 children revealed that consistant exposure to violent events, even images of it can trigger anxiety disorders or there is high possibility that violent actions captured shows might increases their cortisol, which is stress hormone.

Admittedly, some people argue that showing detailed crimes are accessiable and useful for unexpected events of life. However, they overlooks the danger of it, the mere benefit of social awareness is outweighed by severe psychological harm it causes to humans.Furthermore, detailed crime coverage often crosses ethical lines by turning criminals into famous figures just for TV ratings. When media outlets endlessly show criminals and their methods, it disrespects victims and can even cause copycat crimes from unstable people. Because of this, keeping these graphic details away from the public stops unnecessary fear and prevents giving criminals the attention they want.

In conclusion, while some argue that detailed crime reports offer social awareness, the heavy psychological toll and ethical issues far outweigh these benefits. Exposing innocent citizens and children to graphic violence causes unnecessary fear and stress. Ultimately, media outlets should focus on responsible journalism rather than sensationalism to protect public well-being.

Word Count: 326

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

detailed: 4

crimes: 4

people: 4

public: 3

innocent: 3

graphic: 3

children: 3

might: 3

their: 3

criminals: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position of agreement. The main ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the research on young adults and children. However, there are some lapses in focus and precision, particularly in the first body paragraph where the argument could be more tightly developed. The language is generally clear, but there are minor grammatical and lexical issues that slightly affect clarity. To improve, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all ideas are fully extended and logically connected. Also, refine the expression to avoid informal or imprecise phrasing.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The argument is generally easy to follow, and the use of cohesive devices such as 'Admittedly' and 'Furthermore' helps to link ideas. However, there are some lapses in coherence, particularly in the first body paragraph where the connection between the example and the main point could be clearer. The paragraphing is adequate, but the flow within paragraphs could be improved by more logical progression of ideas. To enhance coherence, ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that all sentences support that central idea.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts at sophistication (e.g., 'proposition', 'gained considerable traction', 'psychological toll'). However, there are several instances of awkward or inaccurate word choices (e.g., 'witness of documentary of criminals', 'fresh gossip', 'best perfect example', 'danger alarm'). These errors sometimes obscure meaning. To improve, focus on using more precise and natural collocations, and avoid redundancy (e.g., 'best perfect'). A wider range of topic-specific vocabulary (e.g., 'sensationalism', 'ethical boundaries', 'psychological impact') would also strengthen the response.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences, but there are numerous grammatical errors that affect clarity. Examples include subject-verb agreement ('they overlooks'), incorrect verb forms ('cam severely effect'), and issues with articles and prepositions ('in this year research', 'exposure to violent events'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with some missing commas and run-on sentences. To improve, review basic grammar rules, particularly subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency. Additionally, proofreading for punctuation and sentence boundaries would enhance accuracy. While the range of structures is evident, the frequency of errors prevents a higher score.

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