Opinion

Band 6+: In many countries, people are choosing to have fewer children or no children at all. What are the reasons for this trend, and what effects does it have on society?

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In many countries, individuals are deciding to limit the number of children they have. This decision arises from intense financial instability and family burdens; this leads to loneliness.

Firstly, we need to identify the causes, one of which is financial struggles. This is as a result of poor family background and lack of opportunities. Lots of individuals come from homes whereby the bad economical condition affects their living style, making it hard for citizens to obtain sustainable occupations. Also, people find it extremely difficult to get a stable job; this leads to homelessness and starvation, making them unable to fend for themselves, let alone a baby. In addition, family load also contribute to these concerns. Individuals who are responsible for their family members often have a hard time maintaining a work life balance. Furthermore, families with money debt pass on the burden to their children, resulting in them spending their entire life paying them off.

Next, the drastic effect is loneliness and no one to take care of them. Numerous personnels that decide to have few or no children, always have no one to talk to, resulting in depression and in severe cases hallucination. Additionally, old inhabitants with no kids grow up and spend their older days alone and have to do everything themselves, causing illnesses and spinal issues. For instance, statistics from a 2020 research plan show that residents of North Korea are limited to have no more than two children, this has led to elderly ones having no one to look after them.

In conclusion, humans deciding to have a smaller number of children is often due to monetary strain and care giving hardships, and results in being alone.

Word Count: 281

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Overall Band Score

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

children: 5

their: 5

family: 4

individuals: 3

alone: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a position. The ideas are relevant but lack clarity and sufficient development. To improve, provide more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. Also, ensure a clearer connection between the reasons for having fewer children and their effects on society.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay demonstrates an attempt to organize ideas into paragraphs, but the connections between sentences and paragraphs could be strengthened for improved flow. Transitions between ideas are sometimes abrupt. Consider using more cohesive devices to link ideas within and between paragraphs. For example, in the second paragraph, clarify the relationship between 'poor family background' and 'lack of opportunities.' In the third paragraph, the transition to discussing 'loneliness' could be smoother. The essay could benefit from clearer topic sentences that introduce the main idea of each paragraph.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are not entirely accurate or natural (e.g., 'family load,' 'money debt'). There are instances where more precise vocabulary could enhance the clarity and impact of the writing. For example, instead of 'bad economical condition,' consider using 'poor economic conditions' or 'economic hardship.' Focus on expanding your vocabulary and using it accurately in context.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical errors are present and affect clarity. Common errors include subject-verb agreement issues ('Numerous personnels that decide'), incorrect pronoun usage, and awkward phrasing. For example, 'making it hard for citizens to obtain sustainable occupations' could be rephrased for better clarity. Review basic grammar rules and focus on improving sentence structure and accuracy. Pay attention to punctuation, especially commas and apostrophes.

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Band 6+: In many countries, people are choosing to have fewer children or no children at all. What are the reasons for this trend, and what effects does it have on society?

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In many countries, people are choosing to have fewer children or no children at all. What are the reasons for this trend, and what effects does it have on society?

In many countries, people are choosing to have fewer children or no children at all. What are the reasons for this trend, and what effects does it have on society?

In many countries, people are choosing to have fewer children or no children at all. What are the reasons for this trend, and what effects does it have on society?

In many countries, people are choosing to have fewer children or no children at all. What are the reasons for this trend, and what effects does it have on society?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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