Advantage And Disadvantage

Band 5+: In most countries, fast food is becoming cheaper and more available. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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It is true that, junk food is becoming more accessible with its price getting lower. As far I am concerned , fast food bring more harm to population of the whole planet than good. I would agree with the fact that the downsides outweigh the advantages.

On the one hand, there a lot of concerns about the fast food industry. Firstly, this food causes poor health and weak immune system among people from different age groups. It is especially becoming popular with teenagers , as it is a go-to meal while being busy at school. In addition, fast food not only causes bad physical health , but also it has a tremendous effect on mental health. Because fast food is cooked in processed oil it ruins gut health, which in fact is linked to mental health.

On the other hand, of course, fast food is very requested by a lot of people. It is very convenient in terms of time saving. Nowadays, due to being overloaded with work many people do not have time and energy to prepare home-cooked meals, in this case fast food comes very handy. Moreover, because this type of food is affordable it is accessible to people of all levels of life. Obviously, this is why availability of fast food is only increasing.

In conclusion, it seems to me that the effect that fast food causes is significantly larger than any advantages it may have.

Word Count: 239

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
B1 - Intermediate
Using more sophisticated words could be beneficial.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

health: 4

people: 4

causes: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the increasing availability of fast food. The position is clear and well-developed, stating that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples. To improve, provide more specific examples and elaborate further on the advantages of fast food to strengthen the argument. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is generally easy to follow with a clear structure. Cohesion is maintained, but there are some minor lapses in coherence, such as the abrupt transition between paragraphs. Consider using transition words to improve the flow between ideas. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better coherence.

Lexical Resource

There is a good range of vocabulary used throughout the essay. However, some words are repetitive, such as 'fast food'. Try to vary your word choice to demonstrate lexical resource. Additionally, aim for more precise and sophisticated vocabulary to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

A wide range of grammatical structures is used with good control. There are minor errors in punctuation and grammar, such as missing articles and subject-verb agreement. Proofreading the essay carefully can help eliminate these errors and improve accuracy.

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