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Band 6+: In some countries around the world, men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why is this happening? What are the effects on society and family life?

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In the contemporary world, an increasing number of individuals decide to postpone parenthood. The following essay will analyse the reasons behind this trend and suggest some consequences of those trends to family life as well as society.

On the one hand, there are several reasons behind people’s motivation to have children later in their life, chief among which is financial gain. To be specific, numerous businesses promise higher salaries for job holders with high productivity, which act as a source of determination for them to work harder. As a result, such workers tend to demonstrate higher productivity in private sectors to gain financial stability rather than have children immediately. Furthermore, many young adults often pursue higher academic education instead of having children immediately in their work. This is largely because various competitive professions with high rewards require advanced qualifications as well as in-depth knowledge in a particular field. Consequently, such young people not only spend their time acquiring academic knowledge but also improving their core skills, thereby delaying parenthood is a practical choice to achieve academic success in their life.

Nevertheless, delaying parenthood in people’s lives may have several negative consequences on family life and society. Firstly, postponing parenthood can pose a serious threat to family bonds. Given having late children, such trend can wider generation disparity in family life, which may make communication and mutual understanding more difficult. Additionally, having children later in life contributes to long-term societal consequences in terms of society, chief among which are the the population ageing. If all families have their offspring late in life, there will be a serious lack of young labourers, resulting in the increase of elderly people rates. In light of this, the nations which do not have enough high-quality job holders in the workplace will soon deteriorate the economy as well as worsen their prosperity.

In conclusion, the reasons behind postponing parenthood in people’s lives are based on the desire for financial gain and higher academic success. These trends will pose a serious threat to family bonds and society due to older generations.

Word Count: 344

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 7

parenthood: 5

family: 5

children: 5

which: 5

higher: 4

academic: 4

reasons: 3

behind: 3

consequences: 3

people's: 3

financial: 3

young: 3

having: 3

society: 3

serious: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay effectively addresses all parts of the prompt. You have clearly identified two distinct reasons (financial stability and academic pursuit) and two distinct effects (family generation gaps and societal aging/economic decline). The position is consistent throughout the response. To reach a higher band, ensure that the development of ideas is even more seamless. For instance, in the second body paragraph, the link between 'wider generation disparity' and the difficulty of 'communication' could be more explicitly explained to show exactly how the delay in parenthood causes this specific tension. Additionally, be careful with minor grammatical phrasing, such as 'wider generation disparity' (which should be 'widen the generation gap') and 'increase of elderly people rates' (which would be better as 'an increase in the proportion of elderly people').

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing both parts of the prompt, and a conclusion. The use of cohesive devices (e.g., 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', 'Consequently', 'In light of this') is effective in guiding the reader. However, some transitions between ideas within paragraphs could be smoother. To improve, ensure that the connection between 'financial gain' and 'delaying parenthood' is more direct, as the current explanation of 'higher productivity' is slightly circuitous.

Lexical Resource

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as 'postpone parenthood', 'financial stability', 'generation disparity', and 'population ageing'. There are some instances of slightly awkward phrasing or word choice, such as 'wider generation disparity' (should be 'widen') and 'deteriorate the economy' (usually 'damage' or 'weaken' the economy). Aim for more natural collocations to reach a higher band. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay uses a variety of complex sentence structures, which is a strength. However, there are several grammatical inaccuracies that occasionally hinder the flow. For example, 'thereby delaying parenthood is a practical choice' is a run-on structure; it should be 'thereby making the delay of parenthood a practical choice'. Additionally, 'the the population ageing' contains a repetition, and 'elderly people rates' should be 'the rate of elderly people'. Pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of gerunds and participles.

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Band 6+: In some countries around the world, men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why is this happening? What are the effects on society and family life?

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Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

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Essays On The Same Topic:

In some countries around the world, men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why is this happening? What are the effects on society and family life?

In some countries around the world, men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why is this happening? What are the effects on society and family life?

In some countries around the world, men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why is this happening? What are the effects on society and family life?

In some countries around the world, men and women tend to have their children later in life. Why is this happening? What are the effects on society and family life?

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Nowadays, more and more people are choosing to live alone, especially in large cities. Why is this the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

Generate A Band-9 Sample With Your Idea?

Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

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