Positive And Negative

Band 5+: In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend ?

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In the past, shopping was a routine duty, but nowadays, most people see it as a hobby. I am convinced that this is an acceptable trend because people can spend time with their family or friends and this may reduce peopel stress level, provided thatthis development does not cause excessive expense and time waste.

The key factor is that, shopping may increase people’s social interractions with their firends or family. When people visit shopping cneter with their friends, they may talk about their weeks or problems and this can positively affect to them. For instance, when a group of friends meet and go to the shopping cneetr, they can help oneanother to choose clothes and they can have fun together. Furthermore, shopping may reduce their stress level becuase they can take their mind off their stressful jobs or lifestyles. As an example, when peopel have a stressful weeks, they may visit shopping center to spend time with soemthing else, and this may affect them positively.

However, these benefits materialize only when conditions are met, excessive shopping may cause excessive expenses in a month or in a week. When people addicted to shipping and see it as a daily routine, they may overspend for new clothes or technologies, and this can be harmful for their financial conditions. For example, when people addicted to shopping, they may see a brand new iPhone technology, and they may want to but it immediately. As a consequence, this is dangerous for their financial situation in long-term. In addition, people may waste their time, while they are shopping. People who are addicted to shopping, may delay their daily activities, jobs or other duties. For instance, people may delay their daily routine to go for shopping, and this may cause big issues because they may be late to their jobs or other important activities.

In conclusion, shopping can improve social interactions among people and reduce their stress. It can be dangerous at the same time because people may be addict to shopping, and they may overspend for clothes or new technologies, and they may waste their time with shopping.

Word Count: 352

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Overall Band Score

5.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

their: 15

shopping: 14

people: 10

routine: 3

because: 3

friends: 3

reduce: 3

stress: 3

cause: 3

excessive: 3

clothes: 3

addicted: 3

daily: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear position, but the development of ideas is somewhat limited and lacks precision. The main points (social interaction, stress reduction, and potential drawbacks) are relevant, but the support is often generic and repetitive. To improve, provide more specific and varied examples, and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single clear idea with deeper explanation. Also, pay attention to spelling and grammar to enhance clarity.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The main ideas are presented and developed, but the flow is sometimes disrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear referencing. For example, the phrase 'provided thatthis development does not cause excessive expense and time waste' is not clearly connected to the preceding sentence. Additionally, the transition from the positive to the negative aspects could be smoother. To improve, use more cohesive devices (e.g., 'On the other hand', 'Nevertheless') and ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary, with some repetition (e.g., 'shopping', 'people', 'addicted'). There are also several spelling errors (e.g., 'peopel', 'interractions', 'cneter', 'becuase', 'soemthing', 'shipping' instead of 'shopping') and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'affect to them' should be 'affect them', 'addict' should be 'addicted'). To improve, expand your vocabulary by using synonyms (e.g., 'retail therapy', 'purchasing', 'consumers') and practice spelling common words. Also, use more precise and varied language to express your ideas. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'people may be addict' should be 'people may become addicted'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'may reduce peopel stress level' should be 'may reduce people's stress levels'), and missing articles (e.g., 'a stressful weeks' should be 'a stressful week'). There are also run-on sentences and punctuation issues. To improve, review basic grammar rules, especially subject-verb agreement, articles, and possessive forms. Practice writing sentences with varied structures and ensure each sentence is complete and correctly punctuated.

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Band 5+: In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend ?

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Overall Band Score

Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

Lexical Resource

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

Essays On The Same Topic:

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend ?

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend ?

In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend ?

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Check Your Own Essay On This Topic?

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Overall Band Score

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