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Band 7+: It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved?

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In the contemporary world, individuals do not exercise enough, and I think this is a phenomenon caused by modern work schedules and technological advancements. Nowadays, people rely more on public transport and digital tools.

To begin with, the reasons why people do not exercise include heavy work stress and long working hours, which make employees stay at their offices late. This issue prevents them from waking up early and doing workouts. Furthermore, modern technology plays a big role; people spend hours using smartphones, and the rise of fast-food delivery apps makes them lazier. For example, if people want to make a short trip, like going to the grocery store, they normally use their cars or order from restaurants instead of walking.

This problem can be addressed in several ways. People can go to the gym after office hours, especially if the gym is engaging and gets them excited. Moreover, fitness apps and smart devices can encourage individuals to stay active. I believe that walking in a room on foot for just 10 minutes can be a big achievement. In fact, researchers in India have shown that walking for at least 10 minutes in a small space can make a real difference to health.

In conclusion, although busy work schedules and technology lead to physical inactivity, simple lifestyle changes and small daily efforts can help people overcome this problem and stay healthy.

Word Count: 231

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Overall Band Score

7.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C1 - Intricate
Strive to incorporate even richer and more precise language.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

people: 6

hours: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses both parts of the prompt, presenting clear reasons (work stress, long hours, technology) and some solutions (gym, fitness apps, walking). The position is clear and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of solutions is somewhat limited and lacks precision; for example, the suggestion about walking in a room is underdeveloped and not fully convincing. To improve, provide more specific and practical solutions, and ensure each idea is fully explained and supported with examples or evidence. The essay falls short of the required 250 words.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay is well-organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for causes and solutions, and a conclusion. The ideas flow logically, and paragraphing is appropriate. However, the connection between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother, and the use of cohesive devices is sometimes basic (e.g., 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', 'Moreover'). To achieve a higher score, aim for more sophisticated linking and ensure each paragraph has a clear central topic with seamless transitions.

Lexical Resource

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary related to the topic (e.g., 'contemporary world', 'modern work schedules', 'technological advancements', 'physical inactivity'). There is some attempt at less common words (e.g., 'phenomenon', 'engaging'). However, there are occasional awkward or informal phrases (e.g., 'makes them lazier', 'walking in a room on foot') and some repetition (e.g., 'people' used frequently). To improve, use more precise and varied vocabulary, and avoid informal expressions in an academic essay. Boost vocabulary complexity to elevate the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with mostly accurate use. There are some complex sentences and appropriate use of conditionals and modals. Minor issues include a slightly awkward phrase ('walking in a room on foot') and a missing article ('the gym' is fine, but 'a big achievement' is okay). Overall, grammar is controlled and errors are rare, but to reach a higher band, ensure all phrasing is natural and idiomatic.

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Band 7+: It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved?

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Task Response

Coherence & Cohesion

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It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved?

It is generally seen that most working people do not do enough physical exercise What are the reasons behind this? How can this problem be solved?

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