Cause And Solution

Band 6+: It is observed that in many countries not enough students are choosing to study science as a subject. What are the causes? And what will be the effects on society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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It is true that in several nations learners are not opting to study science as a curriculum. This essay will discuss the main reasons behind this scenario and explain its negative effects on society.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why students are turning away from science. Firstly, the lack of career prospects and competition is discouraging them from choosing other subjects. When students participate in any competitive exam to get entrance or lack job opportunities, they switch their careers to study the humanities and social sciences. For example, in Tashkent, where the competition is high and employment chances are scare, people are ultimately turning their careers to other fields. Apart from this, the availability of a wider range of subjects including international curriculums, compels them towards choosing the subjects of their own choise. Consequently, few people are choosing to study science in college or university.

Furthermore, this phenomenon has a negative effect on society. There would be a shortage of workforce in the fields of medicine, science and technology. Consequently, when there are fewer workers, there will be less research and innovations in those particular areas, which is mandatory in the medical field to get cures for severe diseases such as Cancer, which is more prevalent these days. Hence, there is a wide spread of diseases and society will definitely suffer from it.

In coclusion, the decline in choosing science as a subject is the result of career limitations and wider opportunities to study other subjects. The shortage of labour force and limited innovations will bring negative impacts on society.

Word Count: 263

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Overall Band Score

6.5

(+/- 0.5)

Vocabulary Complexity:
C2 - Complex
Continue to challenge and refine your language choices.

Grammar Mistakes: N/A

Vocabulary Repetition:

science: 5

there: 5

study: 4

choosing: 4

subjects: 4

negative: 3

other: 3

their: 3

society: 3

Try using synonyms for the above words

Task Response

The essay addresses the main parts of the prompt and presents a clear position. However, there could be more focus and precision in supporting ideas. To improve, ensure that each point is thoroughly explained and directly linked to the prompt. Providing more specific examples and elaborating on the consequences of each point would also strengthen the argument.

Coherence & Cohesion

The essay presents a clear position and logically organizes the main points. The structure is easy to follow with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Transitions are generally effective, but could be more varied to enhance the flow between ideas. For example, in the second body paragraph, consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to link the ideas more smoothly.

Lexical Resource

The essay demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary, but there's room for improvement in using more precise and sophisticated language. While the vocabulary is generally appropriate, some word choices are not the most natural or impactful. To enhance the lexical resource, try to incorporate more specific and nuanced vocabulary related to the topic of science education and its societal impact. Also, focus on using synonyms and paraphrasing to avoid repetition. Pay attention to vocabulary repetition to improve the overall score.

Grammatical Range & Accuracy

The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with generally accurate sentence structures. While there are a few minor errors, they do not significantly impede understanding. To further improve the grammatical range and accuracy, focus on using a wider variety of sentence structures, including complex sentences with subordinate clauses. Pay close attention to subject-verb agreement, correct tense usage, and appropriate use of articles and prepositions. Reviewing and editing the essay carefully for these common errors can help enhance the overall grammatical quality.

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